Around the Pleasure Dome — season 1, episode 4 "Around the clock" —

Around the clock [season 1, episode 4] —

Wednesday morning — in the kitchen

– “More butter on my next stack of pancakes, please?”

  Austin was sitting at the counter, in front of two tall stacks of rich, large silver dollar pancakes, all covered with honey or maple syrup and a thick slice of butter on top — he would put one in his plate to eat and swiftly wash it down with a tall glass of milk or freshly squeezed orange juice.

  Lou sat down at the breakfast table and started reading the newspaper, while Ryan cooked more pancakes for him with plates of scrambled eggs and bacon, chocolate muffins and a large choice of cream-filled pastries to go with his morning coffee. There were pies in the oven, of course... It was almost 7AM. Right on cue, Chris joined his friends in the kitchen.

– “And I thought I had seen my share of Dick pics...”

  He had some reasons to groan like a grumpy bear. The front page news was all about the mayor's reelection in Pleasance, with a large picture of the Man himself — Richard Nelson Cochrane, doing his signature move: arms raised, fists clenched and posing like a wrestler. A former wrestler. The article announced in big, thick, smudgy letters 

                  “COCHRANE WINS! HERE WE GROWL AGAIN!”

  Lou nodded.

– “The results are undisputable. I didn't expect him to be so popular... but you're not wrong. In his interview, last night, he already made some pretty dickish moves to tease his political opponents.”

– “I thought he was running unopposed.”

– “He was, but a woman activist from the local hospital started raising concerns about him slashing their budget. Then she started raising funds and she went for a pretty fierce campaign against him. So, most people around here thought that she had a serious chance of winning, if only by a few votes.”

– “It does look like those few votes were missing in the end.”

– “More than a few...”

– “I thought Dick Cochrane was involved in a number of local scandals. What was it about his shady donors?”

– “I have no idea. What happens in the shadow stays in the shadow.”

– “And that fling with a porn star in some hotel, back in Montreal?”

– “Porn star, yes... but straight porn. Not interested.”

– “And none of this prevented us from watching this jerk get reelected.”

– “Same old story...” Lou shook his head. “Voters must have taken one look at his opponent and thought “Meh. She could do better”. They took one look at him and thought “Sure! he could do worse”. Now, he can.”

– “And he will.” Austin commented between two mouthfuls of pancake.

– “But they don't care. It's a done deal. Game over. Wiener takes all.”

– “So it goes.” Chris let out a sigh. “Oh well... It's not like they just gave him nuclear codes or anything.”

– “No. And our situation is not nuclear so much as... unclear.”

– “What do you mean?”

  Lou folded the newspaper and let it fall by the side of his chair. The table was covered with so much food that he could hardly see the counter, where Austin was stuffing his face with more pancakes. Once again, Ryan had worked wonders and cooked up a storm for them. 

– “It's breakfast, guys! Less talkin', more eatin'...”

– “Right.”

– “You should follow Austin's example.”

  Austin had his mouth so full at the moment that he could only nod.

– “Don't mind me, guys.” He mumbled after a long sip of milk.

  It was still quite hard to ignore him, when he let out a loud burp.

– “You're really devouring today, Austin...”

– “I am... BUUUURRRRP.”

– “Is there something you're not telling us?”

– “...When you're not working on your imitation of a hog's mating call.”

  Ryan was there to give him a towel. Austin wiped his mouth.

– “You're not far off... Hawk told me last night that he would stay with his family, at his big brother's fishing cabin.”

– “What's wrong about that?”

– “You mean to tell us that Hawk has a brother who's actually taller and bigger than him?” Chris teased him. “Your boyfriend was definitely raised by grizzly bears...”

– “He wasn't.”

  Austin wasn't too patient about this — touchy subject.

– “Hawk will stay with his family and friends for the whole week.”

– “Oh... I see.”

  Chris and Lou chose to get back to business.

– “What were you saying about our situation?”

– “Right now, we have to renew our hotel licence and the City council in Pleasance may not grant it. After what we did, you know...”

– “Are they still mad about our little singing and dancing number at the Roadkill roadhouse?”

– “Not that. I think Ryan has intimidated enough “tough guys” in there for us to be safe. So we're good... for now. Only you had to confront the mayor himself.”

– “Hey! Ryan was there too.”

– “And how did that help?”

– “Not much, for sure...” Chris grumbled. “It's not like we were dealing with adults, then. Politicians are a lot more like whining, cry babies.”

  Ryan put four hot pies on the kitchen counter. With his oven mitts, his hands looked so much like a bear's paws that it made his friends smile. Of course, those pies smelled heavenly...

  Austin pulled two of them closer to his plate.

– “These are mine.”

– “Okay.”

  There was still plenty of food on the table for his friends.

– “Honestly, Lou...” Ryan pulled off his gloves. “When someone wants to hang me or put me in jail, you shouldn't expect me to applaud when he wins. The only thing I can do in such a situation with only one free hand is to throw a punch.”

– “Well...” Lou caught his breath after he was done with his plate of eggs and bacon. “We'll have to throw something else.”

– “Like what?” Chris asked with his mouth full.

– “A party.”

  Austin turned around to better look at Lou and listen to him.

– “What do you plan to do?”

– “We can't officially start our business as it is, not without a licence... but we can have as many friends and guests as we want, if we just invite them to stay for a while and party with us. This is also our home. We can do what we want in here, no questions asked.”

– “Only we can't ask friends and guests to pay like we're running a hotel. That would no longer be legal.”

– “So we won't ask them to book a room or pay for their meals.”

– “How are we going to make any money out of it?”

– “We keep it under the radar, for a while, ask for a participation for the costs of food and drinks and everything. Little things. Then we can always hope that our guests will be generous with tips.”

– “That may not be much to hope for.” Austin mumbled.

– “Not quite the business model I had in mind...” Chris concluded.

  Ryan didn't say a word, but he had been listening.

– “So we keep it local. It makes sense.”

– “Yes.”

– “People we know. People we can trust.”

– “Hopefully, yes.”

– “Okay...” The blonde cook paused for a minute. “I'll make a few phone calls. How many guys do we need to pull this off?”

– “Well...” Lou had not thought about it yet. “Maybe fifty people. Thirty, at least.”

– “Thirty and thirsty...” Chris corrected. “Drinks and tips will be all the money we can make.”

– “May I use the phone in the lobby?”

– “Sure.”

  Chris got up when Ryan was gone.

– “Okay, what did they really tell you about our licence?”

– “Why are you asking me now?” Lou sounded rather defensive.

– “Because.” Austin understood what his cousin had in mind. “If you told us that you asked for a provisional licence and it was denied by the City council, Ryan would think that it was all his fault for putting me on the stage for that provocative dance number.”

– “I see...” Lou put down his fork. “You could think so, but it has nothing to do with what he did, what I sang or what you drank, at the Roadkill roadhouse. I did my best to explain what plans we had for the Pleasure Dome.”

– “Okay...”

– “According to them, offering guests to stay at our hotel to be openly overfed and put on weight, grow fatter and rounder, isn't a healthy policy and not in accordance with our professional code of ethics.”

– “Huh... okay.”

– “Basically, they denied it and told me that our project was stillborn.”

  Ryan was already coming back.

– “What's still porn?”

– “Our line of business...” Austin answered without thinking.

  Chris and Lou turned to him with a frown, causing him to blush.

– “Is everything all right?”

– “We were talking about that party we want to host.”

– “I have some good news, then. You can count on at least fifty guys.”

– “What kind of guys?”

– “Well, you know... Friends of mine?”

– “Okay. What kind of friends?”

– “Local guys... Farmers, farmhands and so on.”

  Austin, Chris and Lou thought about it for a minute.

– “They should at least show quite a healthy appetite.”

– “Yes...”

– “And they shouldn't be afraid of a few extra drinks.”

– “As long as they can afford them.”

– “Come on, guys...” Ryan protested. “They may not be the wealthy, snooty clients you wanted to win and serve, but they're not poor. And they're not picky... Take it from me.”

– “Ryan has a point...” Austin nodded. “It's usually the overly rich ones you want to steer away from. Always complaining, demanding, nagging, but when the time comes for them to pay the bill, they vanish into thin air.”

– “Well, “thin” isn't what we're looking for.... Air or whatever.”

– “Okay. So we all agree on this.”

– “Let's do it.”

  Chris was still pacing around the kitchen table. Austin would always be easier to win over, when his friends suggested something that involved a lot of food and some responsibility with minimum effort. He was done with his breakfast now — after those last two pies, even a greedy boy like him couldn't possibly eat another bite!

– “BUUUUURRRRP! Okay... See you later, guys.”

– “See you later.”

– “Where is he going?” Chris asked.

– “Austin goes for a short nap after every meal.”

– “Hawk suggested it... or he agreed to it, at least.”

– “I see. Now, if we could get our little business to grow and expand like Austin's weight and waistline...”

  Ryan hugged him as they were now used to, from behind, like a strong, cuddly bear, before he left the kitchen to get more flour and eggs. 

– “Come on, Chris. Don't feel down...” His voice was soft and low. “Hope shines like a wisp of straw in the stable.”

– “Huh?”

  Alone in the kitchen with Lou, he sat down next to him.

– “What did he say?”

– “You've heard him .”

– “Hope shines like a wisp of straw? That must be the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Sheesh... Classic Ryan.”

– “It's not.”

– “What, classic? Even his goofs can't all be gems.”

– “I mean, it's not dumb.”

– “Please, Lou... He may have said as well that Anger is just like a piece of shredded wheat caught between your teeth.”

– “It's not that dumb...” Lou put his cup of coffee on the table. “L'espoir lui comme un brin de paille dans l'étable. That's Paul Verlaine. I think.”

– “What are you talking about?”

– “It's a poem. Hope shines like a wisp of straw in the stable? It's meant to remind you how Jesus was born, in the most humble terms. What no televangelist would ever dare to say.”

– “Oh...” Chris thought about it. “What's that poem about?”

– “I don't know. I think the book is called Sagesse.”

– “Sagesse...”

– “Wisdom, basically. No wonder a gay, catholic boy like him would know a thing or two about that kind of poetry.”

– “Okay, words of wisdom... from Ryan?” Chris let out a sigh. “I guess the World as we know it can end right now.”

■ ■ ■

Saturday night — party at the Pleasure Dome

  Lou had planned everything out so well that the team was ready when Ryan's group of friends showed up, with their friends and more friends of those friends, a few couples and a few brothers or cousins of those friends. All the rooms were booked, which was no small accomplishment! Some of those guys had to share a bedroom, but it was just as expected for them. It was a rather unusual gathering, but everyone looked happy to be there, and Austin thought that they were off to a good start.

  They had to come up with a theme for their “party”, to entertain their guests, and make sure that they could always come up with a good excuse if someone from the mayor's office decided to show up. 

  Considering the type of guys who had answered Ryan's calls and gathered in the lobby, the easiest option would be the best. Lou had also called to make sure that they all knew what to expect, and how they could help their hosts with a positive attitude and some generous tips. 

  It almost felt like a fundraising event, as Chris pointed out when they discussed how everything was shaping up. They had every reason to be confident, except for one “little” detail — they didn't know what to say when most of their guests suggested that they would like to stay for the whole week, with both week-ends included.

– “This must be the twentieth guy who insists that he would like to keep the party going for almost ten days.”

– “I know.... I asked Ryan about it. He's ready to cook and keep the food coming, as long as they like it and they enjoy themselves.”

– “I have a hunch that they know about Ryan's cooking.”

– “No doubt about it.”

  Chris and Lou nodded in agreement.

– “Did you tell them that a week-long party wouldn't come cheap?”

– “I only hinted at it. They got the message.”

– “How much did you suggest?”

– “Honestly, we won't rip them off. If they agree on the terms we have told them, we'll make some limited but decent profit... Then we should treat them and show them a good time for it.”

  In the morning, their first guests were welcomed with a bright, big sign in the lobby, announcing the first “Bear Week” at the Pleasure Dome.

  Austin was happy to get back to his first job, although his costume didn't fit him so well now. He had put on a good thirty, maybe forty pounds since the last time he had handed a key to one of his clients. His work shirt was a bit tight around his neck and his shoulders, around his chest and his belly — even around his wrists!

  It made him feel proud, and he didn't have to be so secretive about it. Most of the guys who came to him and asked for their bedroom key had already met him, when he was much thinner. They never failed to comment on his weight or size, how much healthier he looked now, and what a good look it was for him. Austin kept wishing for Hawk to be around and listen to those words of praise, but he couldn't be happier with all those compliments. 

  Lou was in charge of the bar. He knew how to mix a cocktail, pretty much like any other member of their team, but it was only safe to let him keep an eye on the booze for the next few days. Chris had to work as a waiter in the dining hall, with Ryan helping him at lunch time and dinner time. Austin would get bored and start with a beer or two, then he wouldn't know when to stop... and they didn't want to cause another scene. They couldn't let Ryan serve drinks either. Chris joked about how easily he would get confused.

– “Some guy will ask for a screwdriver. Next thing you know, we'll find him doing it with the one who didn't travel on the passenger seat...”

  Naturally, their dumb blonde cook was in charge of the kitchen. 

  Lou had spent some a whole afternoon with him, dusting and cleaning the hotel's English pub and Irish corner, “The Duke of Berwick” — named after the famous James Fitz-James Stuart of Berwick-upon-Tweed. It was a rather old-fashioned pub... Lou didn't like those dark shades of green and mahogany, but the place was spotless now.

  And those farmers knew how to put a pint away!

  From the first hours in the afternoon, it became clear that they had found the perfect way to make easy money with the right kind of people. Chris had to help him at the counter, but they kept everyone's spirit up with party games and snacks and more drinks...

  Dinner was served as a buffet. That was the most decadent display of rich foods those guys had ever seen, on six different long tables in the dining hall, with different styles of meals. Soon, the room turned into a buzzing beehive with people coming and going from their table to one of those buffets... Ryan also had to keep coming to refill the platters, while Chris helped as a waiter for some more specific, individual orders of food and cocktails.

  After more than four hours of feasting and gorging, all the men in the dining room were groaning in delight and catching their breaths when Chris announced that tonight's “special dessert” was ready to be served. The doors to the lobby were slowly opened and Ryan pushed the most magnificent seven-tiered cake in the middle of the room. It looked like a classic wedding cake, but also like the Mount Everest of cream cakes...

– “No need to fight over this, boys! Everyone gets a big piece of cake.”

  Everyone in the dining room cheered so loud that a few booming burps erupted from a number of different tables, and there was another round of applause when Ryan started cutting the cake. It looked like he would have to stand on a chair to climb to the top...

  No matter how much those young farmers and farmhands had eaten, or how drunk they already were, it looked like it was only the beginning. Austin opened the doors to the ball room, where the music was already on. They could dance or rest for a while, or eat and drink some more... Clearly, none of those guys had any intention to turn in early.

  The next days and nights went by in a blur. Ryan kept cooking and bringing more food to their guests' tables and the buffet tables. Lou kept pouring drinks and cocktails at the bar. Chris and Austin were always there to serve or help one of their clients, in the dining hall or on the way to their bedrooms... The only truly peaceful time of the day was in the morning, when breakfast was served for anyone who happened to wake up before his friends. Most of the guests didn't get out of their beds before 9AM.

  Lou was sitting at the kitchen table, while Ryan was going to the buffet with piles of sausages in both hands... He had started doing the maths, and he liked the way those numbers added up.

  Chris was joining him with a glass of orange juice in his hand. He looked a bit tired but almost sparkling with joy. Or maybe that was some of the glitter left from last night — when he was hailed as the “Duke of Bear Week”, at the end of an improvised singing contest.

  Austin followed him in the kitchen. He let out a long yawn as he was rubbing his stomach with one hand and his eyes with the other.

– “What's that ticking noise? Am I still drunk or is there a cuckoo clock in here and no one told me?”

– “Yes and No. You're drunk and the only clock in here is silent.”

– “It's Ryan...” Lou explained in one word.

– “Ryan's gone cuckoo?”

– “He's set a number of timers on the ovens, so he can look after all the food that's cooking.” He raised his head to take a look at the vast kitchen in front of him. “I have to say, it does feel like a clockmaker's shop.”

  Chris and Austin only had a moment to sit down and eat a healthy, hearty breakfast. Then they would take a quick shower and get ready for another day of hard work. This was nothing new for boys like them, who also knew how to party. They let out a short burp as they got up and out of the kitchen, while Ryan was coming back with big bags of sugar and flour in his arms, and a basket full of eggs.

  The party was still on, after five days and nights. Chris, Lou and Austin kept coming up with new ideas to entertain their guests... While Lou was a natural organizer and party planner, the two cousins had some real talent for improvisation... And there was more food on the buffet tables, day after day!

  There was never a dull moment at the Pleasure Dome — they could only hope that those young men who kept eating and drinking like a battalion of pigs would start spreading the word.

– “Tell Ryan about this afternoon. It's the perfect weather for BBQ!”

  It was a sunny but rather windy day, so most of the men showed up around the covered swimming pool wearing plaid shirts and T-shirts... Chris couldn't help noticing that they would no longer put a belt around their pants, how some zippers were left down and some buttons were opened in advance. 

  Even so, all those clothes seemed to fit quite snuggly on their guests. After six days and nights of fun at the Pleasure Dome, everyone around the pool looked noticeably bigger and rounder — with fuller cheeks and bloated, sometimes wobbling mid-sections... They were just so eager to devour hot dog after hot dog, and quite a few burgers on the side. Ryan had to cook them by the dozen!

  With the gallons of beer served for them to wash it all down, and the cocktails after dark, the atmosphere in the resort was quite festive, but also loose... Lou didn't know how to keep everyone in line when Chris jumped on the opportunity for the waiters to make more money on the spot if they dressed like Playboy bunnies. How did he already have the costumes in his dressing room? How did he happen to get them in the right size, not only for him but for everyone? That was a mystery Lou didn't have time to solve, right now. He was on-board, and so was Ryan. Only Austin found his costume too tight around the hips and refused to wear it... Since he wasn't a waiter tending tables in the dining hall or serving drinks at the bar, people wouldn't notice.

  The costumes were a big success! Lou had to admit that he should have thought about it sooner. Every time they came back to the kitchen, Chris and Ryan almost left a trail of dollar bills behind them...

– “I swear, this guy threw a twenty at me!”

– “No way... These are all George Washington.”

– “Nuh huh! Take a look at Old Hickory, Ryan.”

– “Well, raise the flag and sing Hail Columbia!”

  Lou and Austin weren't far behind them... All their guests were busy now, eating and drinking, so they could take a short break before it was time for desserts. Austin had handfuls of dough to grab on his way to the kitchen, but he wasn't panting like his bunny friends.

– “Did you expect those guys to bring their wallets to the dinner table?”

– “It must be a habit for them.”

– “You left these on the floor... There must be thirty dollars here, maybe up to forty dollars in small change.”

– “That's nothing. Chris fished out a twenty.”

– “Wow...”

  It didn't sound like Austin approved his cousin's success so much.

  Lou did his best to collect the money and put it in an empty sugar box.

– “You were right about this, Chris. I have to tip my hat to you.”

– “You collect all these and we make room for more. Hey! take a look at this... Another twenty!”

– “Okay... Keep it up, that will be quite a collection.”

  Ryan had to go back to tend tables in the dining hall, holding a platter with some special sirloin steak tartare to be prepared in plain sight... He was quite out of breath again, when he stepped into the kitchen with more green leaves thrown at him.

– “You know what? If it keeps raining money, I don't want to get out when they start throwing coins...”

  The blonde cook was sweating profusely — a few dollar bills were just sticking to his chest or his shoulders. Austin nodded. Chris chuckled.

– “Isn't this our best night ever?”

– “I don't know... It's almost 1AM and when those guys have their coffee after dessert, they will dance for hours.”

– “If you can call that dancing.” Austin mumbled.

– “Bear dance...” Ryan corrected himself. “Still dance.”

  Lou obviously agreed with Austin.

– “Come on, guys...” Chris beamed with pride. “How often do you get to say “If I had a dollar every time a guy slapped my tushy!” and get your wish granted immediately?”

– “Trust me on this, that's not something you want...”

  Ryan's tight waistband was almost ready to burst with all the dollar bills hastily slipped in there from all sides. He had to get rid of them, pretty much like a beast shaking off water after a swim in the river.

  Lou was there to help him. Ryan's moves were a bit shaky.

– “Huh... Chris? Take a look!”

– “What is it?”

– “What do you think? Say hello to Ulysses S.”

– “No... way...”

– “Way...” Austin teased. “Mr Unconditional Surrender himself.”

– “Ryan, how did you get fifty bucks as a tip?”

  The blonde guy looked more shocked or puzzled than his friends.

– “Tip of the iceberg, really...” Austin whispered to Lou.

– “I have no idea...” Ryan didn't know what to say. “Maybe that guy who ordered steak tartare with pickled cheese and fresh strawberries wanted to show me that he enjoyed it?”

  Lou took a look at the money in the box. He had some new respect for the local farmers and their employees. The guys who had answered their invitation fell into three categories: a few people from Pleasance and the closest towns, more people from the local farms up in the hills, closer to the vast forests on the mountains, and most guys from the shore.

  All of them, pretty good eaters and social drinkers.

– “Call it “beginner's luck” all you want but, for our first event at the new Pleasure Dome, I would say it's a success if we can keep it going for two more days.”

– “Easy as pie...”

– “Bring on the pies!”

– “I was afraid that someone would start a fight or a brawl, at some point. I mean... Fifty strong, large, young men getting drunk together like this?”

– “It's not like they don't misbehave...” Chris pointed out. “But it's all in good fun. Harmless fun.”

– “What do you mean?”

– “Well... They keep calling me TDH, for instance.”

– “What's that? Total Dynamic Head?” Austin yawned.

– “No...”

  Chris resented his cousin's lazy comment.

– “What does TDH mean?” Ryan asked.

– “Tall, Dark and Handsome, of course!” Chris flashed him with a grin.

– “Or... That Devilish Hunk?” Lou offered.

– “Hey! That works too.”

– “It certainly does...”

  Ryan kept coming and going around the kitchen counter with utensils in his hands, cooking a few more pastries and looking after the ovens.

– “I guess we all get a nickname like this.”

– “Really? What do they call you?”

– “Oh... something else. I'm not sure.”

– “Come on! tell us.”

– “One guy started it at his table, then it's been spreading all over the dining room. I think they refer to me when they say “Thor”. As a joke.”

– “Are they laughing when they call you Thor?”

– “Every time...” Ryan looked down.

– “Thor like the God of Thunder, in the comics?”

– “I guess.”

– “That guy has a point.” Lou thought about it. “Tall, shirtless, strong and beefy blonde guy with long hair, going in and out of the kitchen with loads of food?”

– “And dumb!” Chris added. “Don't forget dumb.”

– “Like a truckload of hammers!” 

  Austin, Chris and Lou burst out laughing together.

– “What if they mean it like TDH?” Ryan asked, a bit sheepishly.

– “Like... what, THOR?”

– “Maybe. Why not?”

– “Sure! why not? So... Tickles, Hugs Or Rubs?”

– “Think Heaven is Out of Reach?”

– “Thanks, Hell is Over-Rated!”

– “This Hustler is Ours to Roast?”

– “Take Him Off the Road?”

– “Throw Him On the Rocks!”

– “Guys, seriously...”

  Ryan looked appaled at their silly suggestions — and burns.

– “Okay, hot shot! What would THOR mean to you?”

– “I don't know.” Ryan let out a deep sigh. “Maybe... Try an Honest Open Relationship?”

  He left the kitchen, with four platters in his arms and hands... Austin, Chris and Loo exchanged a look.

– “Buzzkill.”

■ ■ ■

Monday morning — in Lou's office

  There were many comments in the hotel's guest book:

              “I've never been so            “I was ready to burst but  

               completely stuffed             couldn't help myself — so

               in my entire Life...             I went back for seconds,

                              — Gary”             until I stopped counting...

                                                                              — Adrian”

                          “Topless waiters, bottomless pans of

                            home-made lasagna and cakes... I          

                            wanted this week to go on forever!        

                                                                     — Ian”

              “I swear, I only put on              “The food was

               ten pounds because I                so tasty, hot 

               couldn't possibly stuff                and spicy... I  

               my face faster with so               was ready to   

               much delicious food...                    eat the cook!

                                    — Brad”                     — Glenn”

                    “Amazing food! How did I get to feel hungrier

                     and hungrier when I kept gobbling more and

                     more food, until I couldn't possibly eat more?

                     I'm amazed that my stomach didn't explode...

                                                                            — Zach”

              “My full gut tells me              “Yummy! it's a crime

               it's time to go back                to make me eat so

               home but my heart                much... it's a crime

               says it's time to go                to ask me not to eat

               back to your buffet.               now! I want more...

                                — Mark”                               — Jason”

                  “I kept telling myself “You shouldn't eat so much!”

                   but I couldn't stop... Now that I have to leave, I

                   wish I had eaten even more! and I should have 

                   booked three more weeks at the Pleasure Dome.

                                                                            — Trevor”

  It went on... Sixteen pages full. Lou put the book in his drawer.

  All their guests had left the day before. It was so quiet now. The last ones to go were the guys who lived close by and were in no hurry to get back to their wives or girlfriends, or their bachelor's den. There was at least one thing they had in common, with their memories of an almost perfect week: every guy had put on at least eight pounds and one guy claimed that he may have put on fifteen pounds after everything he had devoured... That was enough to make his friends jealous. Lou found among the customers' suggestions that they should offer weigh-ins and measurements on the first and last days of their stay, so they could check it out.

  He had also counted all the money from their tips, and the generously padded envelope he was given as a collective way to thank the team for their hospitality and encourage them to start their business.

– “Okay. I think we'll do fine... if we get our licence.”

■ ■ ■

Monday morning — in the kitchen

  Austin was on his way to the kitchen when Lou walked down the stairs. Chris had also just left his bedroom and he followed them — but they found a silent, empty room instead of their chocolate cookie factory with stacks of pancakes, punch bowls of cottage cheese, apple compote and whipped cream, mountains of cinnamon rolls and rich buttery croissants, platters covered with thick cream-filled pastries, tall pitchers of freshly-squeezed orange juice standing like towers over hills of scrambled eggs, hashbrown, sausages and bacon...

– “Where's my breakfast? Where's Ryan?”

– “You want Ryan for breakfast?”

– “That would be the ultimate Breakfast of Champions...”

  Lou may be joking, but Austin was hungry.

– “Ryan?”

  They saw the door slowly opened. Their blonde friend and cook stepped out of his bedroom but it looked like he had not slept for more than a few minutes, last night. 

– “Ryan? You look like a mess.”

– “I know...”

  His voice was hoarse, and he started coughing. 

– “I think I've caught a cold.”

– “You think? You're shivering like a leaf in the wind.”

  Ryan had to sit down. Lou placed a hand on his forehead.

– “Guys, he's running a fever like I wouldn't run a marathon...”

– “Ryan?” Chris held his friend's wrist. He could tell that his pulse was crazy. “Are you sure that a cold is the only thing you caught?”

– “What do you mean?”

  Austin understood when Chris gave him a dark, knowing look.

– “Ryan...” Lou cleared his voice. “Okay, we're all adults here. Didn't you spend the night with one of our guests, before the last ones left?”

– “Oh... you've noticed.”

– “You can be quite discrete sometimes, but he wasn't.”

– “It wasn't a He.”

– “Come on, we only had guys for our guests. And we know you...”

– “It wasn't a He. Try a They. It's a lot harder to be discrete then.”

  There was a moment of silence. Ryan rested his head on his hands.

– “It must be harder to do anything, in my opinion...” Lou whispered.

– “Who was it? Or... Who were they?”

– “It was the Rawleigh brothers.” Chris cut to the chase. “I knew it!”

– “How did you know?” Austin asked.

– “I've seen the way those Three Stooges kept circling around him.”

– “Come on, everyone was circling around him. And you.”

– “Chris is right...” Ryan mumbled, obviously hazy. “The Rawleighs live at their parents' farm, it's a one-hour drive.”

– “I remember them now.” Lou tried to find their names. “Stanley? and... what is it, Stephen? Steven?”

– “Yes. They're twins.”

– “And their big brother Stuart.”

– “They're all big brothers. And bigger now, thanks to us... I would call them the Three not-so-little Pigs, if it was up to me.”

– “But what were they up to?”

– “No good. That's what.”

  They heard Ryan groaning — like a bear growl.

– “Guys, I'm sitting right here...”

– “So that's it. You had sex with them.”

– “It's not like I didn't have sex with them before. Just... not on the same night. Not the three of them. That was a first.”

  Chris and Lou only nodded.

– “Stan, Steve and Stu.”

– “That's... quite a stew.”

  Austin looked a bit more worried.

– “Did you follow them to their bedroom?”

– “No... They followed me to my bedroom.”

– “What difference does it make?” Chris scoffed.

– “I know. I made a mistake. I don't know what came over me.”

– “Do you remember, like... who came over you?”

– “Or under you?”

– “Or around you?”

– “Huh... D. All of the above.” The blonde guy heaved a deep sigh.

– “Okay. We get it.”

  Lou and Austin helped him stand up. Ryan had to lie down.

– “I wonder what he got, then...” Chris whispered.

  As they walked by the phone, Ryan paused.

– “You need to make a call. Speed dial n°4.”

– “Whose number is it?”

– “My doctor.”

– “Okay...”

  Lou helped him get to bed. Austin didn't know what to do.

– “Should I stay by your side? Get you something to drink...”

– “You should spend some time with Hawk. He must be back now.”

  For some reason, Austin wasn't so exhilarated as he usually was when he hugged and kissed his boyfriend. Of course, Hawk's large hands felt good on his hips and butt, then all around his empty, round and soft belly — with quite a passionate, almost impatient kiss.

■ ■ ■

Monday afternoon — in the lobby

  Lou didn't waste a second to call that number, and reached a special service at the General Hospital in Pleasance. Over the phone, it sounded like doctor Tietsen-Nippels didn't usually make house calls, but she was willing to come to the Pleasure Dome when she heard that Ryan Hewdge was sick. She sounded concerned too.

  Austin put on his best shirt and suit to answer the door.

– “Hello.”

– “Doctor... Tietsen-Nippels?”

– “You've called to tell me that Ryan was sick?”

– “Yes, he is. Please follow me?”

  Hawk had to wait with Chris and Lou, sitting around the coffee table — not quite the warm welcome he had been looking forward to...

  Austin was already coming back. The doctor must have told him to stay out of Ryan's bedroom. The way he held on to Hawk, when he sat next to him and hugged him tight, was enough for his friends to guess what thoughts were going on, bouncing around and fighting inside his head.

– “Tietsen-Nippels... Why does that doctor's name sound familiar?”

– “She was running against mayor Cochrane for his reelection.”

– “That's it! You don't forget a name like this.”

– “Please... You don't remember a name like this!”

– “And she's Ryan's doctor?”

– “It looks like she is.”

– “What department is she running at the Hospital?”

– “Let me think...” Hawk remembered. “Of course, the CDCP! The Center for Disease Control and Prevention... That's it. That's her.”

  Chris and Lou exchanged a look.

– “Disease Control and Prevention. That's VD.”

– “Naturally.”

– “No wonder she's Ryan's doctor...”

  Austin looked up.

– “Wait a second! Are you guys suggesting like... AIDS?”

  There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.

– “Come on! This is Ryan we're talking about...”

– “Precisely. We're talking about a guy who had sex with three brothers in one night, in the same bed. A guy who must have taken at least one different guest to his bed on every single night, for the whole week...”

– “A guy who already knew all fifty-six of them on a first name basis.”

– “A boy who smiles at you like he could sniff your butt before you say Hello.” Hawk also suggested.

– “Okay, okay... I get it!” 

  Austin wouldn't hear any more of this.

– “Ryan may be sick, but he's not HIV-positive.”

– “How would you know?”

– “When a guy reacts like this to a common cold, you should at least consider the possibility that he's positive.”

  Lou did his best to speak softly and get Austin to calm down.

– “I'm sorry, but we have to make sure.”

– “Well... Okay.” Austin murmured between his teeth.

– “Maybe it's nothing too serious.”

– “We're only being cautious. We also care about him, you know.”

– “Besides, his symptoms may be tricky.” Hawk thought out loud. “Have you ever seen Ryan without droopy, messy long hair, a sweaty forehead, tongue sticking out and wet nose?”

  Austin rose to his feet, faster than a Jack-in-the-box.

– “Stop... comparing... Ryan... to a dog!”

  He sounded exasperated. It was so unusual for him to react like this. Before Hawk, Chris or Lou could say a word, he had stormed out of the room and banged the door closed behind him.

  After a long pause, Chris managed to look straight at Hawk.

– “They grow so fast...”

  Of course, Hawk would have been delighted to find that Austin had put on a little weight in his absence, growing bigger and fatter for him. This was different... It looked like he had not eaten so much while he was working for people who, just to pour salt into the wound, were invited to eat and drink until their guts were about to burst.

  The could talk about it later. Doctor Tietsen-Nippels was back, and she seemed to be in a hurry.

– “Doctor?”

– “Your friend needs to stay in bed. Complete rest, for a few days.”

– “Like three days? 72 hours?”

– “Something like that.”

  Lou came closer to her, so he could lower his voice.

– “Are you going to run some tests?”

  She turned her head to look into his eyes.

– “Sure. What did you have in mind?”

– “Oh, well... The usual suspects, from gonorrhea to syphilis.”

– “Hepathitis and so on.”

– “Yes. And so on...”

– “I'll have my team work on it.”

  Lou noticed a mysterious smile, swift like a shadow, on her remarkably stolid face. Even for a perceptive guy like him, it was hard to know what she had in mind right now.

– “I'll see you in three days, then.”

– “What should we do, then? I mean, about Ryan?”

– “Just what I said... Sleep. Rest. Do not disturb.”

■ ■ ■

Tuesday morning — in Ryan's bedroom

  Austin was listening when Lou and Chris told him what doctor Tietsen-Nippels had ordered, but he didn't care for doctor's orders when his best friend was sick. He opened the door and stepped in, silent like a cat.

  There were a few books on Ryan's desk — six big, thick books: William Shakespeare's Tragedies, Comedies and Histories, in three volumes, The Complete Plays of Christopher Marlowe, The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman's Leaves of grass — next to a small pile of thinner volumes: Edgar Poe's Tales of Mystery and Imagination, Lewis Carroll's Hunting of the Snark, Orlando by Virginia Woolf, The Paradoxes of Mr Pond by G.K. Chesterton, The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by H.P. Lovecraft, Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five, Harold & Maude by Colin Higgins, Anne Carson's Autobiography of Red, Ubik and A Scanner darkly by Philip K. Dick... There were two French books — Le Gardien du Feu by Anatole Le Braz, with a lighthouse engraved on the cover, and Le Visage de Feu by Jean-Louis Bouquet — a German novel, Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse — next to a Spanish novel, Concierto barroco by Alejo Carpentier. Austin had not read any of them.

  He almost stumbled on another small pile of books, by the foot of the bed: Rudyard Kipling's First and Second Jungle Books. He remembered the Disney movie, but he had no idea that there was a sequel... On top of it was a small collection of Samuel Beckett's texts, Nohow On. Austin opened it at the beginning and read about half a page.

– “Your mind never active at any time is now even less than ever so.”

  He let it fall back on the Jungle Books.

– “Sounds like Ryan, all right.”

  His eyes grew accustomed to the dark... The weather was still grey and cold outside, and Ryan's bedroom was bathed in rich shades of blue like the depths of the Pacific Ocean.

  The blonde beast was still feverish but fast asleep.

  If this bed could talk, it would probably ask for a strong drink first, and a shoulder to cry on... Maybe Ryan needed these, but he didn't drink and Austin had never seen him cry.

– “Ryan?”

  Austin heard a low, soft growl that sounded like hello.

– “Huh, Ryan? Are you... not wearing underwear?”

  There was another low growl. Austin should know better.

– “Why did you leave all your bedcovers on the floor?”

– “They're itchy.” Ryan mumbled. “Pajamas, boxers, sheets, covers...”

– “Okay, but... don't you feel cold?”

– “A little.”

  The room did feel a bit drafty. Austin had closed the door behind him, but he wasn't wearing that much clothes either. “Oh, well...” He thought, as he took off his T-shirt, his slippers and his socks. Then he joined his friend in bed to keep him warm.

  Ryan's body was actually quite hot from the fever, sweaty and slippery. Austin wrapped his arms around his friend, and swiftly hugged him from behind. His soft, empty belly bumped against the sleeper's lower back.

  There was a long moment of silence... Ryan breathed without wheezing or coughing, but his body was clearly aching and he was struggling to lie still. Maybe Austin's presence by his side would help. The blonde beast was in no condition to talk much, but he was certainly listening when the big boy's stomach rumbled and groaned.

– “You're hungry...”

– “Duh! Of course, I am.”

– “I should cook something for you...”

  The bedspread crinkled as Ryan stirred and tried to get up — Austin caught him in the nick of time, so he wouldn't fall on the floor. There was a stuffed bear within his reach that just rolled out of bed. No harm done.

– “And who's this good-looking fellow?”

– “My teddy bear?”

– “Yes.”

– “He's been with me since I was two... Birthday gift.”

  It was an old-fashioned, well-worn teddy bear. Austin had a hunch that it wasn't the first toy but the only toy Ryan had as a child.

– “What's his name?”

– “Mister Roly-Poly.”

– “That's a good name for a teddy bear.”

– “Where is he?”

– “On the floor.”

– “Bring him back in bed with us.”

– “Okay...”

– “You can hold him, if you want.”

  Austin didn't need to be told twice. Just as he kept that soft teddy bear in his arms, Ryan turned to lie on his back and hold him in a firm but comforting embrace. He kept his eyes closed, and he was already falling back to sleep...

  Lying next to Ryan with his head on his shoulder and chest, Austin felt so comfortable that, when he closed his eyes, he thought about Hawk. It was such a vivid flash of memories that it sent shivers down his spine, then he felt Ryan's arms wrapped around him — as if he was there to protect him against a lot more than the cold.

  He was still breathing deeply, and sweating. Austin was amazed that he smelled like the finest, leanest cut of beef steak, seared to perfection with just a touch of spice and some secret ingredient in the sauce that was more than enough to make the hungry boy drool all over his chest. 

  Austin opened his eyes. Ryan's long blonde hair were all over his pillow, and he looked like a mess, but a “beautiful mess” somehow. He let his hand rest on that thick welcome mat of chest hair, going down to those furry abs and looking down.

  He had to stop right there. Hawk was hung. Austin had been bragging about his hot boyfriend for some time. He was a Perfect Ten. Ryan was shorter, and beefier, but he had to be like... a Fifteen or Sixteen.

– “Well...” He whispered. “No wonder.”

  Ryan was also whispering. He was almost delirious with fever... Austin heard him say words that didn't make sense, then words to comfort him and nurse him to sleep. There would be deserts in flames, clouds on fire, burning towns and towers falling into sparkling dust... Austin wondered if those were in the Bible, or his friend was just having a bad dream.

  On second thought, Ryan was nothing like Hawk... In this situation, Hawk wouldn't hug him. He would have already made a move to get him in a better position so they would have sex. Somehow, Ryan didn't feel like a threat to his relationship with Hawk. Austin thought about it.

  He had two sisters but no brother — Ryan was like a brother to him... When he told him that everything would be fine, he closed his eyes and smiled. This was the kind of teddy bear he wanted for Christmas.

– “Austin... Are you okay?”

– “I'm good.”

– “It's fine... You're safe...”

– “I know.”

  Ryan was still lost in a haze as he kept taking deep, long breaths.

– “Where's Hawk?”

– “At the lighthouse.”

– “You should be with him.”

– “He's working. I'm good.”

  There was a short moment of silence. Breathing and focusing was still a problem for this groaning blonde beast.

– “You're a good friend, Austin.”

– “You're my friend. I know you would do the same for me.”

– “I wouldn't let you get sick.”

– “You never know...”

– “I won't let you catch a cold.”

– “What will you do?” Austin teased him a bit. “Make me plump?”

– “I will. As big as you wish.”

  Ryan's voice was little more than a murmur, but he meant it.

– “Will you cook more for me?”

– “I will...”

– “Feed me until I'm full? Stuff me even fuller? Make me fatter?”

– “As much as you want...”

  Over the next few days, Austin came back to check on his friend. He brought him a glass of orange juice or milk, so Ryan wouldn't get thirsty. The fever kept going up and down... When Ryan tried to get up and go back to work, he managed to put on his boxers and get to the kitchen table but he fell asleep after he had broken a dozen eggs. 

– “It's okay.” Austin stopped him right there. “You can cook later. I don't want to play with fire, and neither do you.”

  He didn't let anyone see him like this... He kept telling Hawk, Lou and Chris that everything was under control and Ryan would be just fine. He kept telling himself the same. He didn't believe a word of it. 

■ ■ ■

Thursday afternoon — in the kitchen

  The boys were hungry.

– “I give up! How do you get this oven to work?”

– “And how do you stop this fucking timer? It's driving me crazy...”

– “Come on guys...” Austin tried to cool them down. “It can't be so hard! Think about it. Ryan kept all the ovens on, with all those timers, and he was cooking at the same time.”

– “All the ovens?”

– “We had over fifty guests for a whole week. You do the maths.”

– “How many ovens are we talking?”

– “About sixty, I think... with the ones in the second and third kitchens, in the back.”

  Chris threw his towel in the sink and sat down.

– “Let's face it...” Lou groaned. “Ryan thinks chemistry is something that happens on screen, but he's the real alchemist in the kitchen.”

– “He's a magician, for sure...”

– “What are we going to do?”

– “For lunch? We could always order pizza.”

– “Please...” Chris snapped. “If we call now, the delivery guy will only be here in two hours, at best. Our pizzas will be cold and we'll be back to square one, trying to start one of these ovens!”

– “I know.”

  Lou joined Chris at the kitchen table. The whole place around them felt silent and empty. And they were hungry.

– “Seriously, what are we going to do?”

– “Not order pizza.”

– “I don't even like pizza...”

– “I've seen you eat five family-sized pizzas in a row, once! with two six-packs of beer! You would have more of them for desserts!”

– “Of course... That was Italian night, three weeks ago.”

– “And you don't like pizza?”

– “It was Ryan's special recipe. The way he makes a calzone...”

  Austin was almost drooling before he could complete his sentence.

– “That's what I meant, guys...” 

  Lou suddenly stood up and started pacing around the table. 

– “How are we going to work around here without Ryan?”

– “What do you mean, “without Ryan”? You're not serious.”

– “I am serious... What if he can't go back to work?”

– “Why wouldn't he go back to work?”

  Chris nodded at Lou. If someone had to tell Austin, he should do it.

– “Think about it. If it turns out that Ryan is HIV-positive...”

– “What if he is?”

  It slowly dawned on him — and it felt like frost falling on rose petals.

– “Are you guys... honestly... thinking... about... firing him?”

– “It's not that simple. Who will want to come to our hotel, spend the night and eat our food, if they know that our cook has AIDS?”

– “I was under the impression that we were over this... If people don't want to eat the best food if it's prepared by a gay cook, we don't want to serve homophobes who wouldn't even know what's good for them.”

– “This isn't about company policy... With the people in charge of hotel licences at the city council, we may never get back to work.”

  Deep down, Austin was furious.

– “Is this because Ryan behaves the way he does? Is that what it is? Just basic slut shaming? Then, boy! have I news for you... Ryan may have banged every stud, Stan, Steve and Stu in the whole county! I've seen the way you both flirt... Did I comment on the way you received all the attention in the room?”

– “No.”

– “Did I comment on the way you bragged about your Playboy bunny costumes, what a perfect fit they were and how good you looked?”

– “No...”

– “Did I complain when you got all those tips?”

– “No...”

– “Did I complain when guys offered you a drink at the bar?”

– “You did.”

– “Oh... Right. I was thirsty.”

– “We get the point. It's not Ryan's fault. We know him for what he is.”

– “And what is he?”

  Lou and Chris let out a sad, long sigh.

– “He's our friend.”

– “And the best cook we could wish for.”

– “You didn't consider the real danger here, Austin..”

– “What danger?”

– “What if Ryan should die?”

  Austin had not dared to think about it.

– “Why should he...”

– “Ryan's not immortal, you know. He only looks that way.”

– “You could say the same when people call him a slut.”

  The silence in the kitchen was deafening, but they didn't want to talk. They didn't want to move away from the table. They weren't so hungry, after all...

■ ■ ■

Friday morning — in the dining hall

  Doctor Tietsen-Nippels called Lou about 8AM. She told him that she would visit a few patients on her way to the Pleasure Dome, then she would bring the results of Ryan's tests... When their conversation was over, Lou felt a bit strange. It was not lost on Chris or Austin.

– “What's wrong?”

– “I don't know. It only feels... odd.”

– “What did the doctor say?”

– “She didn't say.”

– “That's odd.”

– “That's what I said.”

– “But she didn't tell you about Ryan.”

– “No... She didn't.”

  When she finally rang the doorbell, there was coffee on the table with a large choice of cookies, toasts, butter and jam. For the last few days, Austin, Chris and Lou had only been eating canned goods and boxes of crackers, crisps or cookies. No matter how much they ate, they were still hungry — and not satisfied...

– “Doctor... please, sit down.”

– “How's your friend?”

– “He's sleeping...”

  Austin didn't care for everyone to see how nervous he was.

– “Good.”

– “Shouldn't we ask you how Ryan is doing, really?”

– “Of course. You asked my team to run a number of tests, so we did. I was quite confident about the results and, as it turns out, I was right... Here they are.”

  She opened her folder, took out a sheet of paper — and tore it in half.

– “Huh... Doctor Tietsen?”

– “Tietsen-Nippels.” She corrected.

– “Of course!” Chris jokingly told Lou on the side, under his breath. “Gay boys like us shouldn't forget Nippels...”

– “What does this mean?”

– “Your fried Ryan is in perfect health.”

– “He is?”

– “He's not!” Austin protested. “He's sick and tired. He's been sick for days, with a fever of a hundred and two.”

– “He was certainly tired, but is he still feverish now?”

– “I don't know... I only checked on Tuesday morning.”

– “He should be fine by now. It was a simple common cold.”

– “I don't understand.” Chris thought the same as his cousin. “If Ryan only caught a cold, why did he collapse like this?”

  Doctor Tietsen-Nippels looked straight at them. She may have been poking fun at them, but that moment was over. This was about to get serious.

– “I'll have a few questions for you, for starters. How early do you boys get up in the morning?”

– “About 7AM. Only this week, we had to start working really early.”

– “I'm aware of this. It does look like you're off to a good start...”

  Austin, Chris and Lou didn't expect such words of encouragement.

– “What's the first thing you do, on a working day?”

– “Eat breakfast, of course.”

– “Well...” Austin didn't understand what the doctor had in mind. “We eat breakfast every day.”

– “Do you cook your own breakfast?”

– “Nope... I wish we did...” Chris groaned.

– “Ryan cooks breakfast for us.”

– “How long do you have to wait for it?”

– “I certainly don't. Breakfast is already waiting for me when I wake up.”

– “Then how early do you think Ryan usually wakes up?”

  The three boys exchanged a puzzled look.

– “I have no idea...”

– “There you have it. Your friend isn't sick! He's exhausted. I am actually amazed that he didn't collapse sooner, with the hours he spends inside the kitchen and all around this hotel.”

– “Well... He does cook, like... a lot!”

– “And he did have to tend about thirty tables, during this Bear Week.”

– “And the barbecue grills.”

– “Then he always washed the dishes. That's nothing new...”

– “And he cleans the kitchen.”

– “Then he mops the floor.”

– “He racks the dead leaves in the garden.”

– “He cuts the branches and trims the bushes.”

– “He mows the lawn.”

– “He cleans the tablecloth, the napkins...”

– “The bedsheets, the pillowcases....”

– “He irons them and folds them.”

– “He had to unclog a few shower drains, this week.”

– “Right... And he scrubs the toilets.”

– “He cleans the mirrors and the windows.”

– “He vacuums the carpets in the hall, in the stairs...”

– “In the bedrooms...”

– “In my office...” 

  Lou suddenly felt lower than a beeping phone battery. Doctor Tietsen-Nippels looked at them more severly than her natural stern stare.

– “Keep in mind that there are only twenty-four hours in a day! You've made him work around the clock for such a long time... This last week showed such a peak of energy, concentration and stress that it reached a breaking point.”

– “It certainly did.”

  Chris, Lou and Austin were slowly considering all the fun they had over the week and week-ends in a different light. 

– “Are you boys familiar with burn-out syndromes?”

– “Not really...”

– “Think about this. It's not good when your cook burns the cake, but it's a lot worse when you cause him to burn out.”

– “So... that's it? Ryan was so tired, we thought he had to be sick?”

– “That level of exhaustion should really be considered a sickness. You can't force him to work like this.”

– “We didn't force him into anything...”

– “Didn't you?”

– “I mean... He didn't complain or anything.”

  Austin straightened up on the couch, with his arms crossed.

– “Ryan never complained about anything!”

– “That's true...” Lou nodded. “I'm not sure he would even know how to turn me down when I tell him to do something.”

  Chris cleared his throat. 

– “About those tests...”

– “What about them?”

– “How were you so confident that Ryan was... let's say clean?”

  The doctor leaned back in her armchair.

– “If he was only hired as a cook in this hotel, I wouldn't tell you. If you consider him as your friend, you should know that Ryan has been taking part of a healthcare project with me and my staff, with appointments at the hospital, every two weeks for the last eight months. ”

– “Every two weeks? In Pleasance?”

– “Of course.”

– “Isn't that when Ryan goes to buy special spices and stuff?”

– “I guess. He usually spends two hours in my office, then he helps my assistants or he takes care of a few other patients, and he drives back to this place in the evening.”

– “What does he do with your other patients?”

– “Maybe you should ask him.”

– “Maybe we shoudn't...” Austin mumbled.

– “Then Ryan gets tested every two weeks?”

  Chris was looking at the shreds of paper with his results on the floor.

– “Yes. As a matter of fact, Ryan is the cleanest, most responsible young man I have ever met. When I offered him to help us with our project, we came to an agreement.”

– “So... What do you do?”

– “We talk. He's a good listener, but it's not so easy to make him talk... Once I had gained his trust, however, he's rewarded me for my patience and efforts with a goldmine of precious data.”

– “And you ask him about... sex.”

– “I'm a sexologist.”

  The three boys didn't look so comfortable, sitting on the couch.

– “Ryan is a particularly caring and devoted sex partner. He's clean, and he makes sure that the other person involved is also clean or got clean before they do anything serious.”

  Chris couldn't help blushing. He didn't want his cousin or his friend to know that he had personal experience to confirm the doctor's analysis.

– “Then I provide him with the kind of products and substances he needs for safe sex, which includes access to recreational drugs and controlled drugs for medical purpose. I have to say he uses those quite sparingly.”

– “Okay...”

– “On the other hand, he tells me about his daily and nightly activity.”

– “Well, of course.” Lou hesitated. “He must have dozens of partners.”

– “Hundreds. We've been working on this for more than six months.”

– “That's as far as you can get from chastity...”

– “Chastity means nothing to me. I can't work on something that isn't there, while Ryan's partners are usually coming and going, and coming back, so I get to cross-check a lot of useful references.”

– “I bet...”

– “I have been able to organize them in seven categories.”

  According to the doctor's classification system, there were the “regular” ones, the “semi-regular” ones and the “irregular” ones — depending on how often they spent the night with Ryan — the “occasional” ones who may be absent for a few months then stay in bed for a whole week-end, the “provisional” ones who may be husbands at a certain point in their lives, the “transitional” ones who may be young men dealing with their own troubles and uncertainties, then the “special” ones” — the easy category for people who wouldn't even fit in a group of misfits...

  She concluded that, naturally, Ryan belonged to a category of his own, according to her system: the “exceptional” one.

  Chris appreciated the fact that all the names were left out of Ryan's testimonies for doctor Tietsen-Nippels. She used a system of reference numbers to keep track... When her book would be published, she could suggest fictional names to make it easier for readers not versed in such statistical models.

– “Would you like to see how Ryan is doing?”

– “Of course, but you said he was sleeping.”

– “Not anymore...” Austin couldn't help licking his lips. “I can tell he's making me pancakes, chocolate muffins and cinnamon rolls.”

– “How can you tell?”

  Austin's fine sense of smell allowed him to detect what was going on in the kitchen. Doctor Tietsen-Nippels got up.

– “Then my job is done.”

– “Would you mind staying with us for an hour or two?”

– “Are you inviting me to have brunch or something?”

– “I'm sorry...” Lou almost bowed, as it was a habit of his. “I have a meeting with someone and I would appreciate it if you could be there with us.”

– “Well... Okay My schedule is ruined for today, anyway.”

  As they got out of the dining hall, Lou took Chris to the side.

– “We're back!”

– “Back and running... Alive and kicking!”

– “What a Swiss Army knife she has for a classification system!” Lou chuckled. “I wouldn't like to be put in a box with a label saying “semi-regular” or whatever... Would you?”

– “Huh?”

– “When you look at Ryan, do you think something like “regular”, really?”

– “Oh... No, definitely not.”

  When Chris took a look at Ryan, at the kitchen counter, the only word that came to his mind was “mine”.

  He turned to look at his cousin.

– “When you mentioned pancakes and cinnamon rolls...”

– “Yes?”

– “Why did you tell the doctor that Ryan was cooking “your” pancakes?”

  Austin didn't even blink.

– “Because they're my pancake, my chocolate muffins and my cinnamon rolls. Ryan is cooking for me because he's my friend. He's cooking for me because he wants me to get fat... And he wants me to get fat because he's my best friend! You and Lou have to wait.”

  With a nod and a smile, Chris and Lou pushed all the food on the counter in front of Austin, while Ryan was putting four pies in the oven.

– “What do you know, we're your friends too. Eat and get fat!”

– “No argument there.”

■ ■ ■

Friday afternoon — in Lou's office

  Doctor Tietsen-Nippels didn't want to follow Chris upstairs.

– “I have to get back to the hospital, you know.”

– “Lou told me that it would only take a few minutes.”

– “I don't like to wait...”

– “Don't you have waiting rooms like... everywhere, at the hospital?”

– “Not for me.”

– “I see...”

  Lou was talking to some guy in a suit who looked just like any other guy in a suit. It was a mister Jay Heffkay, city concillor in Pleasance and head of the committee of Health, Hygiene and Safety. Their meeting was about to start.

– “Doctor? What a pleasant surprise. Were you also invited?”

– “I only happened to be paying them a visit, this afternoon.”

– “How nice...” He went on, without the slightest hint of sincerity in his voice. “I didn't expect to meet you again, so soon.”

– “So soon after the end polls?”

– “Something like that...”

  Mr Heffkay had been looking around, on his way upstairs.

– “It feels like you have been holding quite a buffet.”

– “And they say hospitality is a dying art...” Chris mumbled.

– “Did you host a party for your friend, the doctor?”

– “We thought about it, but the results were so... unexpected.”

– “Well... It does look like a lot of food and efforts for a lost cause.”

– “Why? What did you serve your guests to celebrate mayor Cochrane's reelection? Dick taters?”

  The man didn't expect that kind of punch, but he could take it.

– “We're not involved in the food business so much... Nothing like you boys. What we serve usually takes the form of a lawsuit.”

  Chris also knew when it was better not to fight back — for now.

  Lou could take it from here.

– “We're not in the food business either.”

– “Aren't you boys managing a hotel resort? With a swimming pool? a gym and spa? a lake? and, from what I've heard, like the best cuisine in the whole county?”

– “Not quite. We certainly endeavour to provide a quiet, comfortable and positive environment to our guests, with a number of dedicated services and tasty food... but we wouldn't call this place a hotel.”

– “Didn't you apply for a hotel licence?”

– “Did we? Then I am sorry for this misunderstanding.”

  Mr Heffkay was at a complete loss.

– “I just... I don't understand. What is this place?”

– “The Pleasure Dome is a not-for-profit organization.”

– “A... Wait, what?”

  Chris was just so surprised as the other guy. Even doctor Tietsen-Nippels looked suprised. That was no small accomplishment for Lou.

– “After the recent events that lead to the previous hotel to close down, we have considered what option would be best... Doctor Tietsen-Nippels has suggested that we provide public services that will create a positive impact in our society by providing our guests with rich, healthy meals for people who will be recommended to us for temporary housing, help and reinsertion. And that is precisely what we were looking for.”

  The guy let out a long whistling sound — almost like a cow boy... He looked knocked out. Flat on the floor... Doctor Tietsen-Nippels gave him the coup de grâce when she nodded, with her eyes half-closed, as if she had been aware of the whole scheme from the beginning.

– “You know... There are laws about what you'll be doing in this place.”

– “Don't we also have laws about what you do as city councillor?”

  Chris invited Mr Heffkay to follow him. Their meeting was clearly over.

  He only took Lou to the side and whispered to him.

– “A non-profit organization... honestly? You wily weasel, we'll be lucky if this doesn't count as Un-American Activities!”

  Alone with doctor Tietsen-Nippels, Lou waited in silence.

– “Well done...”

– “Thank you. Of course, you also played your hand well.”

– “You're a clever and resourceful young man, aren't you...”

– “You've only seen me playing this round of the game.”

  They smiled and shook hands on it.

– “Partners, then?”

– “Partners.”

– “It will be a pleasure to work with you boys.”

■ ■ ■

Friday evening — in the lobby

  Austin was ready to spend the week-end with Hawk, at his place... He saw him waiting by the stairs, then he walked up to him — slowly, so his boyfriend could tell him how good he looked.

– “Aren't you feeling a bit... thin?”

– “I feel hungry! More than you know.”

– “If only you knew someone who wants to feed you until you're full...”

– “I think I remember a guy.”

– “Oh? What kind of guy?”

– “I'm not sure... A tall, strong and beefy grey bear, you know? The silent type. A sugar daddy with a hairy chest, dressed like a lumberjack. Sounds familiar?”

– “It does sound like a pretty great guy.”

– “Meh. He's cool? He's okay.”

– “Just okay?”

– “On a good day, he is. On a really good day, he's the best...”

– “This kind of bear must be a nocturnal animal.”

– “Oh, he is... A real predator.”

  Austin grabbed his shirt to steal a kiss. It made them both smile.

– “Are we good?”

– “We're good.”

  Chris and Lou were holding the door for doctor Tietsen-Nippels. She was on her way out and it didn't look like she was in a hurry. 

– “Well... Back to her stud studies!”

– “With testosterone testimonies...”

  When her car was out of sight and they came back inside, Lou thought about this new agreement between them and the hospital, with her own project at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

– “Did we just promise doctor Tietsen-Nippels that we would make sure to keep Ryan actively “going out” with at least four different guys on a regular week?”

  Chris froze for a second.

– “I think we did...”

  There was a moment of silence between the four of them.

– “Boy! do we have work to do.” Austin rolled his eyes.

– “That's one way to make sure that everyone in the county knows that there's never a dull moment at the Pleasure Dome.”

■ ■ ■