Frenchfeeder's Library

Poncing around [season 1, episode 11]

Monday morning — in the lobby, at the Pleasure Dome's gym & spa

For someone so sensitive and genial as Lou, the group weigh-ins, every other week, had become a bit of a chore. Doctor Tietsen-Nippels praised him for his healthy appetite, how he kept growing and putting on weight, but he was getting tired of the same comments and compliments.

Her nutritionist colleague, doctor Arranoah, was mostly interested in his own line of research and his “pet project”, on the side of their weekly or monthly meetings — with Ryan as his test subject and Guy assisting him with his instructions, protocoles and reports.

Lou was secretly delighted that his big boyfriend spent so much quality time with his “big bear brother” at the gym, day in day out — Ryan was such an active but easy-going jock, Guy felt safe and comfortable around the treadmill and the adjustable weight benches, when he was supposed to act like a coach and keep an eye on his blond friend.

Their tight schedule and playfully athletic lifestyle kept the two young men in remarkably great shape. Of course, Ryan's diet of hearty, healthy snacks and milkshakes, with Diego's special chicken curry, Koast cottage cheese and candy bars pretty much every hour, on the hour, was meant to make him beef up and put on mass.

Standing by the bench and following Ryan's progress, Guy had actually lost a few pounds... He was still over 320lbs, big and strong, standing on the scales in his boxers, but that unexpected little weight loss made him feel somewhat frustrated right now — and hungry!

Ryan showed more discipline than his friends, around everyone's eating schedule and his routine at the gym, so everything kept moving forward in a positive way. Guy could only follow his moves, but he also knew that the silent blond jock would always be there to help him stay motivated, or focused, and sometimes comfort him like a cuddly big bear, whenever he may feel down.

Then he had no secrets for his boyfriend.

– “Aren't you training too hard together, in the morning?” Lou suggested.

– “Maybe Ryan does... I'm only pushing him to train even harder.”

– “And he doesn't even lose weight, when you can't get to gain more.”

– “Honestly, Lou...” Guy let out a sigh. “With all those sandwiches, candy bars, milkshakes and smoothies I keep pushing on him all day, he would have to burn calories like the world's most efficient blast furnace!”

– “Maybe that's how you lost two pounds. Standing too close to the fire.”

– “I can't imagine any other explanation. I eat big. I should grow bigger.”

Lou moved away from his desk to give him a hug.

– “What if you spent more time with me?”

– “I wish...” Guy kissed him on the lips.

– “I've put on another six pounds. What if I was rubbing off on you?”

– “Please... Be lazy, and I will keep rubbing your belly until you do.”

– “Better gain six pounds than a six pack, am I right?”

– “Lou, have you even been wrong once in your life?”

The two young men lost themselves in a passionate kiss.

– “Then you weigh... what, 238lbs now?”

– “Doctor Tietsen-Nippels praised me for it again...”

– “Of course! You should be praised for this. You've been eating so well, after your mother left for Tōkyō.”

– “I must have felt stressed too. I only gained six pounds.”

– “How about this? I gain six pounds, make it to 338lbs, while you hurry up and put on a hundred pounds, so you can finally outweigh me!”

– “Is that what you wish for us?” Lou responded with a broad smile.

– “Oh, definitely... I want you to be the bigger man in this relationship.”

– “If I weighed 338lbs right now...”

– “Yes, please?”

– “Well... Don't tell him, but I would weigh just the same as Austin.”

– “Wow! That would be sweet.”

– “I don't know... Bittersweet, at best. Austin gets so competitive about our weigh-ins and measurements. He needs to constantly remind himself that he's the heaviest, largest and fattest member in our team.”

– “Don't worry about him... Austin can always outweigh you by a couple pounds. You're bigger than this, and you know Ryan will always be there to provide him with all the most delicious, most fattening food he wants.”

Guy hugged him tight, enjoying his boyfriend's size and softness.

They heard a sound that felt only too familiar by now.

– “BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRP...”

Ryan was done with his morning routine on the treadmill — and his first big shaker of Diego's special Koast smoothie of the day.

– “Huh... Speaking of the deviled eggs.”

■ ■ ■

Monday morning — in Hawk's bedroom, by the lighthouse

Austin was eating his chocolate muffins so fast as he could, lying in bed against the largest pillows Hawk kept in his bedroom for him.

– “Did you choke on one of those, recently, or...”

– “Huh... What?” Austin asked with his mouth full.

– “The way you're going after your muffins, it looks like vengeance!”

– “It's not. I just need more.”

– “You'll get to eat more...”

Hawk sat by the side of the bed, to rub his boyfriend's stomach.

– “I've never seen you eat in such a hurry. What's going on?”

– “Nothing! That's what... I'm still dragging behind myself.”

– “Is this because you “only” gained four pounds recently?”

Austin nodded. Hawk whispered into his ear, mischievously.

– “If you're sick and tired of being so pint-sized, it's okay... You'll get a whole pint of chocolate whole milk and butter cream milkshake to drink after lunch and dinner.”

This brought a smile to the well-fed black young man's face.

– “So you've only put on four pounds... You almost weigh 340lbs.”

– “Yeah...” Austin pouted. “I'm not even up there yet.”

– “It's not like you have to reach 400lbs by the time you turn 20.”

– “Hawk, have you just met me? That's only step one in my goals!”

The tall man rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's insistence.

– “Okay, tell me about this. Clearly, there's more to it.”

– “Well...” Austin mumbled, between large mouthfuls of muffins.

– “Let me guess. Lou managed to gain more weight than you, again.”

– “Six pounds, Hawk. And you said it. Again. What's wrong with me?”

– “There's nothing wrong, and you know it. Lou is still lighter than you, by... How much, like a hundred pounds? It's only natural that he packs on weight a little easier than you.”

– “I guess... Lou has the perfect boyfriend for it, too.”

– “And how am I supposed to take this?”

– “No offense, Hawk, but Guy is younger and bigger than you... And he wants his boyfriend to grow really fat!” Austin struck a pose, like a little princess, poking fun at his grey bear. “I only have you and Ryan to keep me from feeling so underfed. What's a girl to do in such times of need?”

Hawk almost pounced on top of him, with a wicked grin.

– “All this drama for a measly couple pounds? I will show you how much fatter I want you to grow...”

– “Oh! yes, please. “Ogre mode” activated?”

– “You bet.”

There were only four chocolate muffins left on the plate, by the bed... Hawk fed them to his boyfriend — causing Austin to moan and smile in delight, like a good glutton.

– “See, fat boy? I'm here for you.”

– “Hmmmph...”

– “And Ryan?” Hawk looked up. “How's he doing?”

– “Hmmmph... Still on Diego's diet, you know.”

– “Yes. Snacks, smoothies and shakes at all Koast.”

– “Yup.”

– “It's been really effective, too. How much does he weigh now?”

– “Hmmmph... I guess, over 300lbs.”

– “That's pretty big for him. And he's been bulking up fast!”

– “Yup.”

It was Hawk's turn to tease his greedy boyfriend.

– “I bet you wish you could gain 40lbs... 50lbs... 60lbs...”

– “Hmmmph... And spend so much time at the gym? Pass.”

– “And show some discipline around your schedule, right?”

They took a moment to just guess how many meatball sandwiches, big bowls of Koast cottage cheese, yoghurt and fruit salads, milkshakes and candy bars Ryan had to eat all day, under Diego's and Guy's supervision.

– “Tight schedule, for sure. Hmmmph... Every hour, on the hour.”

– “Yes... Like Pavlov's dog. Only dumber.”

– “Hawk!” Austin snapped at him.

The tall bear leaned forward and kissed his plump boyfriend on the lips.

– “How about the others, and the Pleasure Dome?”

– “What do you mean?”

– “Business as usual? I don't know.”

– “You could say that again... We need to shake things up a bit, around this place, if we want to start making real money.”

– “What does “real money” mean to you? Green leaves from the United States, blown off the Wheel of Fortune?”

– “Something like that... For starters.”

– “Get more customers to come visit from Maine, or Connecticut, or...”

– “Chris is working on it.”

– “Is he, really?”

– “He's been thinking about organizing some special event.”

– “What kind of event?”

– “I don't know... He didn't talk too clearly about it.”

– “Or you weren't listening too closely when he did.”

– “How is that my fault? I'm only 19. If you want me to pay attention to what you have to say, keep it short.”

– “No need to remind me. I can see your eyes switching to screensaver mode when I tell you about my parents or my cousins for ten seconds.”

– “We've been over this. Your family's okay, but they are boring. Nothing happens to your folks, and let's keep it like this... If you feel like telling me about them, make it interesting.”

After a few more big bites, Austin was done with his muffins, chocolate chip cookies and milkshake. Hawk let himself fall on top of the bed, next to him... They both looked at the ceiling for a moment.

– “Of course, you know what's going to happen to me.”

– “When did you say you would be investigated?”

– “First meeting, tomorrow afternoon.”

– “With that inspector... Badger?”

– “It's Inspector Badgett.”

Hawk let out a deep sigh. Austin snuggled against his chest.

– “Oh! well... A badger with a badge. Just what we needed around here.”

■ ■ ■

Tuesday morning — in the greenhouse

Guy was sprinkling water over some seedlings of Diego's Cryptophyta Pachyntika Megalophagia. He felt rather proud about his “green thumb”. Under his care, that marine organic compound had grown so much, with such large green leaves, that it almost looked like fresh salad.

On the other hand, he only had two rows of such plants to work with... The greenhouse, once packed with pots, buckets and tubs overflowing with growing seedlings of Koast compound, felt quite empty around him.

Ryan was running on the treadmill again, under Diego's watch. Lou was right about their blond friend's discipline... Guy couldn't help wondering that Ryan would actually outweigh him, soon.

– “BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRP...”

That familiar primal call made him smile, and look up.

Diego was slowly coming back from the gym, holding a large, wet towel around his shoulders with both hands. Ryan followed him closely, coming fresh out of a cold shower... Once again, after such an intense work-out with his demanding coach, the blond jock looked hazed, confused and a bit disoriented. They were used to dealing with him like this, by now.

Ryan was quite the beefcake, at the Pleasure Dome... Guy had to ask Diego about his latest results. He wished to stay discrete about it, but he had guessed quite correctly — his blond “big bear brother” weighed no less than 308lbs, and his measurements were impressive.

As his nutritionist and coach, Diego was beaming.

– “You've grown really thick, Ryan!”

– “Oh... Honestly, guys?” The big jock blushed. “Better thick than sick.”

It wasn't lost on Guy that Diego looked particularly michievous, today.

– “Good workout session, Ryan. There you go! Have another milkshake.”

– “Okay...”

Ryan didn't look particularly thirsty, but he did what he was told to do. Encouraged to drink “faster, faster, faster”, he gulped down the whole thing in less than two minutes... Then he couldn't help himself.

– “BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRP...”

Diego just laughed at this, wholeheartedly.

– “This will be your last shaker of Koast milkshake, until further notice.”

– “Oh... Why?”

– “I'll be out of Koast compound to keep making these, soon.”

Guy folded his arms and nodded. Ryan blushed as he looked around.

– “What's happening?”

– “What do you think? You've been through all our samples.”

– “I thought you were going to grow new seedlings, outside...”

– “I will, but it's taking some time. I need to hire a new assistant for that job in the fields. Your friends have been generous with the lease of lands for my research, but there's so much work to be done... Besides, you've been on this bulking diet for three months. Am I right?”

– “Yes... I think so.”

– “And you've been eating like a beast. Gobbling, gulping, guzzling...”

The dumb blond beefcake didn't expect this. He looked short of breath.

– “And in three months, you've managed to pack on no less than...”

– “Ninety pounds.”

– “That's right!”

– “308lbs on the scales, this morning, on an empty stomach.”

– “To be fair, your stomach is almost never empty nowadays.”

Ryan didn't know if he should feel proud or ashamed about it... Guy felt tempted to applaud him, and give him a big hug — he remembered how skinny his friend was when Diego had put him on this special diet, only a few months before. Looking back even a bit further, he remembered how Ryan had once weighed as little as 208lbs for a few days, and his friends were shocked. It was just not acceptable, around the Pleasure Dome.

Of course, that general outcry felt like a distant memory, right now.

– “Ninety pounds of red meat in three months... Not bad!” Diego teased his test subject, with appreciative pats on Ryan's belly and a broad smile on his face. “How does this make you feel, big boy?”

– “I don't know... Bulky?”

– “Duh.”

– “Massive, I guess... And fat.”

– “Again, to be fair, you have beefed up so well that you look fatter than you really are. But you're right. You've grown massive, like a real beast! And meaty, to say the least!”

– “What can I say?” Ryan blushed. “You've done a really good job...”

– “Maybe a little too much of a good job.”

– “How so?”

Diego thumped Ryan's nicely rounded out tummy.

– “You've grown such a big ball belly... Three months is a good run for this kind of bulking diet, in any case. If we kept this up, you would grow into quite a man-sized meatball!”

Ryan was quite bloated, of course, after drinking that milkshake.

– “Do you want me to... cut back?”

– “I couldn't keep up with your appetite, anyway!”

Guy raised an eyebrow — he had never heard Ryan ask for one of his snacks... Most of the time, he actually felt like he had to force the blond jock to eat and drink, and keep it going with his daily activities.

– “Don't worry, Ryan. As soon as we're ready with my Koast plants in the fields, we'll get back to this. And I have a new kind of diet for you, in the meantime.”

– “Okay...”

Ryan didn't seem to mind that he would have to lose some weight.

Diego sent him back to the rowing machine, at the gym. Then, alone in the greenhouse with his assistant, he was free to share and explain the next steps of his plans.

Guy asked him first.

– “Do you really think that Ryan has grown too big?”

– “Certainly not. 300lbs is a pretty good weight for him.”

– “So we're actually out of Koast ground leaves to mix in his food?”

– “Pretty much... We will need more of the latest kind of seedlings we've been working on together.” Diego let out a sigh. “To be fully honest with you, I should have moderated these last three months a bit better. Ryan was so eager to do well, we've just kept pushing him to eat, eat, eat...”

– “Well, duh...” Guy thought out loud.

– “I have been working for some time on a Koast-based sort of cold tea, with a colleague and his team. Something like kombucha, only lighter in texture, neutral rather than acidic, not sweet, quite effective to detoxify the drinker's digestive system and to improve his immunity, as well as the assimilation of lean nutrients.”

– “Lean nutrients?”

– “That's what I said.”

– “You know, Diego...” Guy twisted his lips. “Around the Pleasure Dome, you're not allowed to mention anything, or anyone, “lean”. Except maybe David Lean... I'm not even sure.”

Diego was taking a look at the potted plants of Koast, with their large and appetizing leaves. He responded with a hopeful smile.

– “Here's more news for you. I'm leaving for Nova Scotia and Greenland, tomorrow morning. I will be away for a month.”

– “A whole month?”

– “Thirty-six days, so... Yes, about a month.”

– “Huh...” Guy didn't know what to say. “Okay, I guess.”

– “You have to keep an eye on Ryan, in my absence.”

– “Of course. What kind of routine should we follow, then?”

– “No need to change his workout routine. Keep up the pressure.”

– “Okay, I will. How about his diet?”

– “Cut it in half, basically. Snacks every two hours. Keep it very strict.”

– “No problem, but... Cottage cheese and candy bars?”

– “You will replace his snacks with the items on this list.”

As much as Guy would like to make Ryan eat thick sandwiches and rich meals, with large bowls of hypercaloric cottage cheese, he expected to find some radically different groups of food mentioned in Diego's list.

– “I see. Lean chicken meat, no surprise there. Lentils and curry...”

– “That's right, keep it healthy. Don't worry about the size of his meals.”

– “Okay... I'll keep him well-fed.”

– “We both know how much he can burn those calories.”

– “Then I should keep them coming?”

– “Just stick to the list, stick to the schedule, and make sure that healthy red meat sticks to his bones.”

That comment made him feel a bit better. No one wanted to see Ryan go hungry and grow skinny again. Guy went on reading through that list.

– “I see... Wow! lean, lean, lean.”

– “What did I tell you?”

– “A lot of vegetables in his diet. Poor Ryan...”

– “What's wrong with vegetables?”

– “Huh... Rabbit food? Good luck with that!”

– “Good luck comes with a rabbit's foot. This will be different.”

– “Well...” Guy thought out loud. “We're all adults, at the Pleasure Dome. There's just no way to ignore what's going on when Ryan gets lucky.”

■ ■ ■

Friday evening — in the kitchen

Lou was a bit nervous, feeling both frustrated and saddened about the latest turn of events around the Pleasure Dome. Austin had concerns of his own, with his boyfriend under investigation and having to justify his actions during the storm, when he had pretty much saved their lives — now having to deal with daily interviews conducted by an inspector who seemed determined to make him fall.

They were not in the mood to organize fancy events, or treat large groups of guests, at the moment... Chris claimed that he had something in mind, but Lou was used to him not sharing that kind of information.

A few days earlier, he had received a letter from some friends he had not heard of since high school — which was unusual in itself, considering that Chris never received news from the United States, but his reaction was also quite out of character. Lou couldn't figure out it that letter made him angry, nostalgic or excited. It looked like “all of the above”.

Chris had asked him for a few days to make a number of important phone calls, and come up with a really grand new event. It was better to let him do his thing.

Guy shared Lou's frustration over Ryan's new daily routine. It was just brutal, physically and emotionally, for the two big bears at the Pleasure Dome... In less than two weeks, it looked like their blond beefcake had already lost twenty, maybe up to thirty pounds.

How Ryan could stay cool and spend after-hours time on his studies of the Iturritik language, with all the work to be done in the kitchen and his training at the gym, Lou and Guy had no idea. They weren't exactly at a loss for words, however, with that enormous dictionnary their friend kept on a stool, next to the dinner table.

– “So... How far have you read into this, so far?”

– “It's a dictionnary, Guy. Not a novel...”

– “Right.”

Austin joined his friends around the table. Lou could tell that it would be better not to ask him about Hawk at the moment.

– “Then you may have... learned something about these Iturritik guys?”

– “About their language, at least.”

– “And how is it going for you?” Austin asked rather listessly.

– “It's really complicated...” Ryan sighed. “The Iturritik language has so many tenses for their verbs and such strange declentions, with different cases of nouns, pronouns, adjectives and adverbs. They have suffixes to tell the precise degree of parentality and mutual respect between subject and object, the level of intensity of a quality, from weakest to strongest, or totally useless to absolutely necessary, to pinpoint an inflection in the course of action, or to suggest a cloud of indecision around a statement. Your ancient local tribes must have taken pride in such long and nuanced words, that provided them with an abundance of rich rhymes. Then what can I say about all that?”

– “Didn't you just say, like... a lot?”

– “I guess I did. And I'm done...”

Austin was about to suggest that his friend could bake a few apple pies for them, using his own recipe with a tender, thick flaky pie crust, slices of juicy apples drenched in brown sugar, a trickle of lemon juice, a touch of cinnamon, nutmeg and butter — when Chris stormed in the kitchen, with a crumpled letter and a small black box in his hand.

– “Girls, have I news for you!”

Everyone was startled at this outburst.

– “What's happening?” Guy eventually asked.

Chris didn't answer. It looked like he had just been struck by lightning, with feverish eyes, shivering hands, flaring nostrils — just brimming with electricity. He walked straight to Ryan, and got down on one knee.

– “Huh... Chris, what are you doing?” The blond jock asked, blushing.

– “Ryan Hewdge?”

He put the letter in his pocket, and opened the box with both hands.

– “Ryan... will you marry me?”

There was a short moment of silence in the kitchen. Austin was the first to come to his senses.

– “Dibs on the wedding cake!”

■ ■ ■

Saturday afternoon — in the lighthouse

– “...And he said yes?”

– “Of course, he did!” Chris grinned, convincingly bashful.

Hawk was speechless — Austin had to tell him about it as soon as Ryan was busy again, back in the gym with Guy... His cousin had followed. He wouldn't miss this for the world, as he raised his hand to show off that engagement ring. Even Lou was curious to see how Hawk would react.

– “Yeah, he did.” Austin nodded with a wry smile.

– “You boys are getting married...”

– “To be fair...” Lou suggested. “Have we ever heard Ryan say no?”

– “Hey!” Chris looked offended. There would be no rain on his parade.

– “You have a point...” Austin concluded.

It did bring Hawk to smile. He didn't buy any of this.

– “You're joking, right? Austin came up with this, and you're just playing a trick on me, to lift my mood or poke fun at me...”

– “We're not.”

– “Why should we, Hawk? That would be really silly.”

– “If this is a joke, the trick's on Ryan right now, really.” Lou shrugged.

Chris turned and gave him a rather stern look.

– “Thank you for your support.”

– “I'm sorry...” Lou didn't insist. “It's just so... unexpected.”

– “How so?”

– “I don't know. It's like... You? Ryan? You and Ryan?”

– “That's right. It doesn't sound right.” Austin frowned.

– “Wow, guys! Thank you for having standards. Raise the bar.”

– “I'm the bartender here...” Lou raised his hands. “The only thing I can raise would be the level of alcohol in our customers' drinks.”

Hawk still had doubts. Chris had also announced some big event.

– “You're serious about this.”

– “I am.”

Austin, Hawk and Lou shared a suspicious look.

– “No you're not.”

– “First things first...” Lou moved forward to face the group. “I would like to know what kind of “big event” you had in mind, before you proposed to our dear cook and totally unsuspecting friend.”

Chris let out a deep sigh, immediately followed by an impish smile.

– “Okay... It started with that letter I've received from my friend Anita. Austin, do you remember Anita, from high school?”

– “Chris, we didn't go to the same schools...”

– “I must have told you about her. And her oafish, standoffish boyfriend at the time, Bryan.”

– “Huh... Wait, wasn't she elected to be Queen at your Prom?”

– “She was! They were our Prom King and Queen, back then.”

– “I don't remember meeting her... or him.”

– “No, you haven't.”

– “So... What's so special about them?”

– “They're getting married.”

– “Is that what their letter was about?”

– “They just got engaged.”

– “Okay...” Lou was curious to see where this would lead them. “Did you suggest that they could get married at the Pleasure Dome?”

– “Not exactly. Maybe something like a dressed rehearsal. We will hold a party for all my classmates from ten years ago... They can celebrate the anniversary of their first time as an official couple, and it will be a great way for everyone to reunite before their wedding.”

Hawk, Austin and Lou listened to him, nodding as he went on.

– “Are we talking about an evening with your friends, or...”

– “Oh! it would have to last a whole week. We'll have more than eighty guests, maybe up to a hundred if they bring their current partners. I've called as many people as I could, and I'm pretty sure that Anita also did her best to convince them. I mean Ashley, Scarlett, Melanie, Joe, Diana, Laura, Brenda, the whole gang! I'm still waiting for a few RSVP's, but it's a done deal.”

– “Okay... It does sound big, I'll give you that.”

– “I agree. This is a really good deal for us!”

– “This is bullshit...” Hawk growled, with his arms folded on his chest.

Austin turned to his grumpy boyfriend, with a frown.

– “Hawk! what's wrong with you?”

– “There's nothing wrong with me... Forgive me for my 20/20 eyesight, when I can see right through this cockamamie plan you've concocted.”

– “What do you mean?”

– “Your Prom King and Queen are getting married. Then, out of the blue, you invite them to the Pleasure Dome so you can show off, in front of all your high school friends, with Ryan as your “trophy husband”... Please, how is this not the most pathetic attempt at stealing their thunder?”

Chris straightened up, looking pale and genuinely shocked.

– “...Trophy husband?”

– “Husband or not...” Lou commented. “There's nothing about Ryan that would suggest “atrophy” in any way.”

– “I mean...” Austin cleared his voice, feeling the tension between Hawk and Chris. It would be easier for him to cut through a large, deep pan of dark chocolate with a knife. “It's not like you guys met at a county fair.”

– “And you'd have to be a decent shooter to win an actual teddy bear.”

– “You don't get it, Hawk. If you believe it's so funny, then have fun. I'm serious about this, and so is Ryan. Serious as a heart attack.”

– “Clearly not the kind of heart attack we need to worry about...”

– “I wouldn't be so sure. Believe it or not, Ryan and I are going for it!”

He didn't bang the door as he left, but it felt like he had.

– “I'm afraid Chris really meant it.” Lou nodded. “They're doing it.”

– “I had no doubt about that. Of course, they're doing it...”

– “Let's consider this deal Chris has us all signed up for. Hosting parties for a whole week, with about a hundred guests from the United States? It would be the first really big event for us, at the Pleasure Dome.”

Hawk reluctantly agreed, with a short growl. Austin's reaction was a lot louder, and unexpected.

– “Oh! no... I don't want to do body search again.”

– “What do you mean?”

– “More customers coming from the United States? That's three of four times more guns to be stored at the lobby. Sorry, been there, done that. I'll pass...”

– “Come on, Austin.”

– “Oh! no, I'm serious about this.”

– “Have you been to JFK or LaGuardia airport, Lou?” Hawk asked with a playful grin. “Didn't Chris tell us that, for anyone who scores over a four, it goes on for at least twelve minutes?”

– “So what? We don't have to do it like an angry customs agent.”

– “You don't understand...” Austin shuddered at the tought. “They expect this. They're counting on it... It will be a game for them! I don't want to find out just how many guns they can hide in all the creases and folds on their chubby bodies.”

Lou rolled his eyes. He had seen Austin go through it before.

– “What will you tell your cousin about it?”

– “I'll be staying here for the week.”

– “Here, at the lighthouse?”

– “With Hawk.”

– “May I ask why?”

– “Emotional support.” Austin hugged his tall grey bear tight.

– “Oh, really...”

Hawk rubbed his boyfriend's belly. He was delighted by his decision.

– “It goes both ways...”

Lou didn't insist. Austin was genuinely concerned for his big bear.

– “Okay. I'll ask Guy to welcome our guests.”

There was a knock at the door. Lou and Austin looked puzzled.

– “Were you expecting someone, at this hour?”

– “This isn't a social thing. It's that inspector. We have an appointment.”

Hawk opened the door. The guy in charge of investigating his case for the mayor's office didn't look so imposing or intimidating as Austin and Lou had anticipated... He was short and scrawny, with a buzzed haircut and a lean, clean-shaved face. His grey raincoat and high-topped shoes were badly worn-out, and his rumpled shirt didn't look so white as it was bland. Everything about him was just ordinary... Austin had a hunch that he didn't need to hide behind the curtains if he wanted to disappear — standing as he was in the middle of the room, he already looked like he had made himself scarce.

– “Austin... Lou... This is the inspector I've told you about.”

– “Gentlemen...”

– “These young men work at the Pleasure Dome.” Hawk explained.

They shook hands in a truly shaky, nervous way.

– “Welcome to the neighborhood, inspector Gadget.”

– “It's Badgett, sir.”

– “Oh...”

Hawk took Lou to the side.

– “Thank you for that! Good pick to break the ice.”

– “Sorry...”

■ ■ ■

Wednesday morning — on the way to the mall, and back

Ryan was driving the car, with Chris on the passenger's seat. They were on the highway from the Pleasure Dome to downtown Pleasance.

– “Are you sure you want to do this?”

– “Of course, I am. We have to. There will be a lot of people...”

– “I understand, Chris. It's a big deal for you... and me. I just don't want to be an embarrassment in front of your friends.”

– “And that's why we need to buy matching tuxedos.”

The landscape almost disappeared under the rain, sleet and sometimes snow — there wasn’t much for them to see on the road anyway, except ramps, lanes, street lamps and traffic... It had started snowing early in the morning, with enchanting, small and mildly romantic flurries.

There was nothing romantic about it, in the dull light of such a day.

By the time they hit the road, there was four to five inches everywhere on the ground — but the rain and a little sunshine would wash most of it away before noon. School buses were still going slowly and Ryan, always a careful driver, kept his eyes on the road.

– “Aren't you feeling a bit hungry, Ryan?”

– “I had breakfast right before we left.”

– “That's right, but there's more of it for you.”

Chris had a whole plate of vegetables in his lap — Ryan's new diet had replaced meatballs with cocktail tomatoes, candy bars with carrot sticks and skinned cucumbers, meatloaf with beets and coleslaw, cookies with sliced onions, hypercaloric cottage cheese with lean yoghurt and Diego's milkshakes with his new brew of cleansing Koast herbal tea...

His sweetest drink now was freshly squeezed orange juice.

– “Have another carrot.”

– “Hmmmph... Way to make me feel like Bugs bunny.”

– “Please, you would disappear in the fog, with this weather...”

– “Did you have to bring the whole plate on this ride?”

– “It's a long ride. And you have to eat.”

– “Okay...” Ryan let Chris feed him some more coleslaw with a fork.

– “Have a few more tomatoes. And a good-sized Playboy bunny's carrot.”

– “Don't get me started. I know you hate to see me eating vegetables.”

– “I hate that it makes me look like a responsible parent. You didn't need my help to behave and eat your beets, as a child.”

– “I wish we had such a variety of fruits and vegetables on our kitchen table, back then...”

– “I bet you had plenty of apricots, nectarines and bananas. Maybe not so much peach cobbler, but peaches... Right?”

– “Not really.” Ryan nodded. “What makes you think I did?”

– “Because...” Chris fed him slice after slice of fresh peaches, marinated in Koast herbal tea. “You are what you eat, and boy! did you grow up to become a real peach...”

The two young men laughed, and held hands over the car's brake.

– “I know. Every neighbor could tell that I would be such a fruit.”

– “And my parents would have stuffed me with sunflower seeds, sesame seeds and pumpkin seeds, if that could prevent me from being “the bad seed”. They didn't try this, but I don't think it would have made much of a difference, anyway.”

– “It does sound like a very oily diet...”

– “Yes. And not my cup of tea, to be honest.”

– “Oh! I wouldn't mind a cup of tea, if you don't mind.”

Chris poured some in a paper cup, and he made Ryan drink.

– “You know what? I miss those milkshakes you had to drink, like...”

– “Every hour, on the hour.” The blond jock shook his head, as if he was reciting a lesson in front of the teacher. “Really? I thought everyone was sick of me drinking so many of them, all day...”

– “Why should we feel sick? They looked very thick, and creamy, but you were the one who had to drink those.”

– “They were pretty thick... My stomach was really bloated when I was done with a full shaker.” Ryan looked down. “And they made me burp so much, and so loud, every time...”

– “Yeah...” Chris gently placed a hand on his friend's thigh. “That's what I miss the most about those milshakes.”

Ryan coughed, and blushed. Chris gave him some more tea to drink.

– “Seriously, Chris... You wouldn't want me to burp in front of everyone, when your friends stay with us for a week at the hotel.”

– “Of course not. You were right, this is pretty good timing.”

Chris leaned to the side, to whisper into Ryan's ear.

– “But since we're alone, right now... Just you and me.”

– “Yes, Chris?”

– “Well, go ahead! Let me hear one good, raspy, booming belch.”

– “No way...”

– “We're already on the highway. Come on.”

– “I didn't expect you to turn this into a game.”

– “I'll keep stuffing you with vegetables, fruits and yoghurt until you feel full enough to let out a really deep, loud and rumbling one for me.”

Ryan took a short breath in, and straightened up a bit in his seat.

– “BUUURRRP...”

Chris couldn't help laughing, while Ryan wouldn't stop blushing.

– “I know, I know... That was weak.”

– “It wasn't weak. As burps go, you could even say that was... cute.”

He slipped a hand under Ryan's seatbelt, and rubbed his tummy.

– “You really are a teddy bear...” Chris almost purred.

– “The kind of teddy bear children leave by the side of the road, after a family picnic... and their parents buy them a new one from Toys 'R Us, rather than driving back to find it, because it's just not worth the effort.”

Ryan was only thinking out loud — not even loud at all... Chris rested his head on his friend's shoulder, knowing that it didn't bother him while he was driving.

– “Are you feeling bloated now?”

– “I'm good. I'll take a detour by the men's restroom at the mall.”

– “Okay...”

Chris kept his hand on Ryan's ball belly, under his T-shirt now, slowly rubbing it in long and sensual circles.

– “It's okay... You stick to your diet of carrot sticks.” He muttered.

They were driving through the main streets of Pleasance by now. When Ryan reached for his seatbelt, the click of it disengaging echoed like a gunshot in the otherwise silent underground parking lot.

It was a busy day, with many customers coming and going everywhere around them. Chris knew exactly where they had to go.

– “First, we have to buy a good pair of shoes for you.”

– “Okay...” Ryan didn't sound too excited, keeping his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans, as he walked along.

– “Then tuxedos.”

– “Yes, Chris.”

– “I promise, my friends will only judge you by the color of your suit and the quality of your shoes.”

– “I guess I should have expected as much...”

Ryan had no idea how to buy a good pair of shoes. He didn't really like the fancy models Chris chose, but it was easy for him to try a few pairs and find one that would allow him to walk or pace, go up and down the stairs, cross his legs and maybe dance.

The saleswomen were literally at his feet, ready to praise him about the size of his ankles and the perfect shape of his calves... It sounded so inappropriate, the blond jock couldn't feel more ill at ease, but it didn't take long for Chris and him to move on. He was still shocked at the price of those shoes they had bought.

– “That's why I didn't let you look at the labels.”

– “They must be really good shoes but, Chris... This is extravagant.”

– “And aren't you tired of being confined in the “vagant” lot?”

– “I'm serious.”

– “So am I. And I want you to put on your best behavior in here.”

Chris had brought Ryan to Armando's, the best taylor in Pleasance — or the only good one, in his opinion... The shop looked really fancy and not tacky, which was quite an achievement in this brightly lit mall.

– “This is going to cost a fortune...”

– “Sometimes it costs a little money for a handsome man to look good.”

– “If you say so.”

– “We're in the hotel business anyway. Not your kind of uniform, but...”

– “I understand.”

Ryan walked and moved carefully, as if the costumes around him were made of glass and he could shatter them by looking at the hangers.

– “Wow... Even as a soldier, I could never afford clothes like these.”

– “Oh! I would be shocked if you had more than a dime in your wallet.”

– “So, I can roll on a dime...” Ryan smiled timidly.

– “Okay, roll over or turn on a dime. The shop assistant's coming.”

The young woman who offered to help only took one look at Ryan, and held back a frown. Chris held back a chuckle... He had already met her, and he could read her thoughts almost as if they had popped in a bubble over her head: she was convinced that the clueless blond jock before her had stuck a roll of socks in his crotch, as a bad joke — or one really big banana. He took her to the side and made his request, clear and precise.

After a few measurements around his friend's chest, shoulders, waist, hips, arms and thighs, she concluded that it was pointless. Ryan was big all over, with more than a few strategic spots deserving multiple “extra” credits on the side of “large”. The shop clerk looked downright disgusted.

– “I couldn't find one suit in our shop that would fit...”

She kept going around Ryan's forearms with her measuring tape.

– “A man like you, so bulky and thick, is not built to wear formal attire.”

– “What can we do about this?” Ryan asked, a bit sheepishly.

– “You need a special, tailor-made tuxedo.”

Chris patted the blond beefcake's shoulder — also discreetly rubbing the back of his neck with his thumb, to calm him down a little.

– “I knew it would come to this. Maybe Michel could help?”

– “Oh...” The woman raised an eyebrow. “He will be here in a minute.”

Ryan was still standing in the shop, stiff like a mannequin.

– “Who's Michel?”

– “A French Canadian taylor, from Montréal. He will do just fine.”

Chris had to wait for almost two hours, then Ryan came back from the taylor's workshop, still wearing his T-shirt and jeans. In the meantime, he had chosen the finest fabrics for their matching suits.

– “Is everything okay, Michel?”

– “It's a rather unusual challenge for a taylor like me, but since you're a good customer and I have all the measurements I need, I should get it done by the end of the week. Would saturday be okay?”

– “Perfect. We'll take a look at your ties, too.”

– “Please, Chris. Take all the time you need.”

Alone in the shop together, Chris held his future husband in a hug.

– “I bet it was a rather unusual experience for you too.”

– “Standing naked in front of a fully clothed man... How's that unusual?”

Chris hugged him tight, and whispered more mischievously.

– “What man in his right mind would stop at taking measurements?”

– “Oh! he would have to be really straight... or really perverse.”

– “Did you talk to him? Michel is a very social, friendly professional.”

– “He asked me a few questions. I guess he wanted to know me better, so he could tell which colors would be good for me. Or to make sure that you and I are cut from the same cloth.”

– “Please...” Chris grinned. “He could immediately tell that you're uncut.”

Ryan looked around — the shop assistant was ignoring them, busy as she was with other customers who kept coming and going.

– “Describing yourself is a real challenge... I couldn't come up with three words to tell him about me.”

– “Come on, of course you can.”

– “What can I say? I don't find myself interesting.”

– “What should I tell you? You're not uninteresting... hun.”

– “Hun, really? It does sound nice.”

– “How about hung... or hungry? Are you hungry?”

– “I'm really not feeling hungry, right now...”

– “Horny?”

– “You really don't need to ask.” Ryan responded with a smile.

– “Hopeful?”

– “Do they all have to start with an H?”

– “Let's say they do. You'll be a good host for my friends.”

– “I would rather be a good husband for you...”

Ryan looked up at the bright morning sky. Chris could see sparkles of sunlight in his eyes. They both took a long, deep breath and let it out, still holding hands as they went back to the car.

– “Chris, may I ask you something?”

– “Anything.”

– “That shop assistant? The way she looked at...”

– “You and me? I know... but since you and I are so patient, and polite, we let it pass. It's a shame that they let shop clerks be jerks like that.”

– “Not you and me. She was looking at my gut, and...”

– “What? Don't tell me she made you feel like a big bear.”

– “More like... a wooly mammoth, or something.”

– “Oh? Well, she spends her whole days surrounded with wool.”

Chris could tell that his friend was serious, for some reason.

– “Do you think I've... grown too big?”

– “No. Definitely not.”

– “Come on, Chris. There's no one around... Be honest.”

– “You can do a hundred push-ups, first thing when we're back home.”

– “Is that what you want?”

– “It's you I want. No questions asked.”

Ryan looked up. He was always moved by a sincere answer.

– “How about your friends?”

– “It's not about what they want.”

– “What should we tell them?”

– “Okay, I see...” Chris held him in a tender embrace. “How about this? Let's say you were fat when we started dating, and I've put you on a diet to slim down... so we look good on the pictures together, when we get married. Because that's the kind of selfish, abusive boyfriend I am.”

– “Is that the way your friends remember you?”

– “That's not for me to say.”

– “Is it for me to find out?” Ryan smiled and kissed him on the lips.

– “Maybe... You're on a diet anyway. Nutritionist's orders.”

– “Okay, so that's... not too much of a stretch.”

– “Next to the stretch on your waistband, it's really nothing.”

■ ■ ■

Monday morning — in the lobby and the main hall

There were a hundred and twelve guests staying at the Pleasure Dome. For the first time since Chris and Lou had joined the team, the hotel was fully booked... Guy had his hands full with the keys, getting everyone to sign the register, giving directions and answering questions, at the desk.

Chris was thrilled to reunite with high school friends he had not seen in years. He made sure that his new friends were properly introduced.

– “I can't believe that you've managed to drag us all down here, Chris.”

– “It's not like you had to cross the Styx to get to the Pleasure Dome.”

– “I guess not... We're still lost in the sticks.”

His friends wouldn't stop joking about his “belly rubs with rubes”. Chris discreetly pointed at more friends gathering in the dining hall with a tall glass of champagne.

– “There's Brenda... And here's Brendan. And Brandon. And Brandy...”

– “How did you not get them all confused?” Ryan looked lost.

– “Oh, I did. It took me three years to get their names right.”

The blond jock had a hard time trying to follow his fiancé through the main hall. Ryan was easily overloaded with information... With so many guests coming and going, talking and laughing, it felt like a busy hive.

– “You said their grandfather was in steel?”

– “And oil. Well, not literally...”

– “I don't get it. Magnets work on steel. They don't work on oil.”

– “He wasn't an “oil magnet”, Ryan! He was an oil magnate.”

– “Oh...”

Everyone seemed to be on their best behavior, and in a good mood for the upcoming parties. Ten years after Prom, Chris was a bit disappointed to find out that time had not been so kind to most of his friends.

There were some seriously reciding hairlines here and there, with grey temples showing under dark hair, and quite a few balding men — just as some of the girls turned out to look “prematurely blonde”, with eyelids tight like stretched out saran wrap, or lips puffed out like toy balloons, or cheekbones that were not there before. All in all, quite common looks for twenty-something women in the United States.

“Welcome to the twenty... thirst century, ladies.” He thought.

What couldn't be hidden, or ignored, was how much bigger and fatter they had grown — most of the women, and pretty much all of the men in the room. Chris was one of the few exceptions among his classmates.

Just as he had pushed Ryan to work out with more cardio exercises, and lift weights in longer series, in order to trim down and eventually look “lean”, Chris had spent hours with him on the treadmill and at the rowing machines... Taking turns with Guy to keep coaching him without mercy had brought his abs to show like pebbles in a stream, smooth but hard like rocks. It made him feel reasonably proud.

His male friends wore large belt buckles. They thought bolo ties were cooler than silk ties, and gave them a “rebel's look”. A few of them had cow boy boots instead of loafers with their designer's suit... Chris had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes, sometimes.

Next to him, Ryan looked like a child lost in a crowded train station.

– “You know... What we said earlier, about you being “too fat” and going on a diet for our wedding?”

– “Yes?”

– “I think we'll have to say it out loud, or they won't even notice.”

There was Judy Van Saβ, bestselling author of what her closest friends described as “cheap and tawdry romance novels, too vulgar to be written with words”... Her first book Redneck Rhumba had made her a wealthy woman, and its sequel Psycho Sonata had been well-received. Third time was still waiting to prove its charm. After five years of writer's block, she claimed that she had come up with the title.

– “Judy...” Ryan still tried to memorize everyone's names.

– “Jaded Judy, all right.” Chris shrugged. “She used to be sassy.”

They kept moving to meet more guests.

– “There's Grace. She's a professor. She studied Shakespare... I think.”

– “Elizabethan playwrights?”

– “Something like that, but all work and no play... Boring.”

Ryan spotted a woman who looked like she was about to choke.

– “Oh, don't mind her...” Chris warned him. “That's Diana.”

– “Okay... Diana. What does she do?”

– “Nothing. She's rich.”

– “Is that all she is?”

– “I don't remember her having a personality.”

She may have not heard them, but she noticed the attention.

– “Hey, girl!” Chris waved. “Good evening...”

– “Die... (cough) Dyin'... (cough) Diana.” She held out her hand.

Ryan couldn't help staring at her, a bit wide-eyed. He didn't expect this.

– “It's a pleasure to meet you.” He managed to say.

– “Diana used to be our public speaker, in high school.” Chris explained.

– “Oh...”

– “I have a coal... (cough) a colt.. (cough) a cold.”

– “It's quite all right. It does get cold in the evening, around here.”

– “I'm sore... (cough) sour... (cough) sorry...”

– “I could bring you some tea, with a touch of cinnamon and honey.”

– “That would be night... (cough) knife.. (cough) nice! Thank you.”

Chris held Ryan's hand in a firm grip. Tea could wait.

– “Did she always stutter like that?”

– “Oh! it was even worse, back then.”

They got to the kitchen. Austin and Hawk were waiting for them.

– “How's the party going, so far?”

– “Everything will be fine.” Chris sat down with his cousin.

– “Did you see the future married couple?”

Ryan and Chris suddenly shared a concerned look.

– “Now that you mention them... No, we haven't.”

– “Did their flight get delayed, or...”

– “I don't know. We should ask Guy if they have just arrived.”

Hawk laughed at their embarrassment.

– “What if they saw what kind of backhanded game you're playing, and they cancelled everything?”

– “No... They wouldn't do that.”

– “How can you be so sure?” Austin asked, watching Ryan packing huge lunch boxes for him, by the kitchen's fridge.

– “You know what, Hawk? I think you're right.”

– “Really?”

Chris stood up, looking defiant, hands in his pockets.

– “They're playing with us. I bet Lou will get a phone call. Delayed flight, cancelled plane or whatever sorry excuse they come up with. Oh! I know Anita. She's waiting for everyone to be at the Pleasure Dome, so she can make her grand entrance, like a movie star, with Bryan at her arm.”

Ryan had filled two enormous carton boxes, with enough meals to feed a hungry family of lumberjacks for a whole week... It should keep Austin from complaining about how “underfed” he was, for the next day.

– “There's something I still don't understand, Chris...”

– “Okay. What is it?”

– “Why do your friends keep calling you “Ken Doll”? I don't get it.”

Austin jumped in.

– “Ryan, come on! How long have we been working together? You know my name is Austin Kindell. And Chris is my cousin... It never occured to you that we have the same family name?”

Ryan didn't say a word. He looked stunned there. Hawk had to ask.

– “Wait a second... Your name is Chris Kindell?”

– “I know. It makes me look like Santa Claus' great, great grandson.”

– “I'm not so sure about the “great” part...” Hawk growled.

– “It could be worse, you know.” Austin tilted his head.

– “How?”

– “What if I told you... we also have a cousin Kendall.”

– “No way! Kendall Kindell?”

– “The one and, thank God! only.”

– “How much did his parents hate each other to name him like that?”

Hawk and Austin had to go back to the lighthouse... Someone told his boyfriend that he was feeling hungry — and he couldn't wait too long to start eating again. The boyfriend in question groaned, as he had to carry both cartons back to his place, but he knew what was good for him.

Alone in the kitchen with Chris, Ryan let out a deep sigh.

– “I have to start cooking and baking now, or we will run short of food for tomorrow's breakfast buffet.”

– “I should go back and entertain our guests, then.”

– “You do that.”

Before he left, Ryan held Chris in his arms and kissed him on the lips.

– “Thank you for warming me up like this.” He smiled, almost swooning.

– “You do your thing, Chris Kindell.”

Chris ran his hands down his fiancé's forearms, playing with his large, mighty bear paws and caressing his fingers, one by one.

– “How does it feel that I may introduce you as Ryan Kindell?”

– “I don't know... It has a nice ring to it.”

– “Sure!” He pressed his hand. “That's an engagement ring.”

■ ■ ■

Tuesday evening — in the main hall, at the Pleasure Dome

Just as Chris expected, Anita and her fiancé joined the party late in the morning, when everyone was talking about them... It looked staged, like something out of a movie from the golden years in Hollywood.

– “Chris...” Ryan whispered to him, as they were holding hands. “Why do I feel like you've invited me to a fishing trip in a pool of sharks?”

They walked from one group of well-dressed people to the next.

– “Hey, Ken Doll.”

– “Hey there, Brandon...” Chris answered with a wave and a wry smile.

– “Anita looks so good. She hasn't aged a bit.”

– “I guess they only took her out of her ice chamber last night. Then she needed a few hours to defrost and fly over here...”

Chris left him there to say hello to Brendan and Ruth.

He remembered how these two wouldn't stop bickering, teasing each other and coming up with the most vicious burns when their friends were around. Now, they looked like siamese twins joined at the shoulders and elbows. No one could have seen it coming.

– “Wait, Brendan... You got married to Ruth?”

– “About three months after graduation. I couldn't go on. I missed her.”

– “Please... You couldn't stand each other.”

– “I know! My first thought was that I only missed our fights.”

– “Same for me.” Ruth added. “Then we had to stay in touch.”

– “Something was missing in my life. I used to be just ruthless.” Brendan wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders. “Now, I have my Ruth...”

Chris left them by the buffet, as they both had the same grin frozen on their faces. The whole situation made him shudder.

“I can only imagine how many times Brendan's said this, to anyone who would listen...”

He knew he had to wait for Ryan to come back from the kitchen, to tell his friends about his own wedding plans.

Anita was standing in the middle of a small crowd of her “best friends forever” like the only brunette in a puddle of bleached blondes. They had not seen or heard from each other in almost ten years.

– “Hey! Blast from the Past...”

– “More like... Bleach from the Peach.”

After a certain “incident” in the high school parking lot, Paula had been known to her closest friends as “Peach”. Chris may have been involved in that “incident”, so he held back a chuckle.

Anita always had quite a sharp tongue.

It was almost time for lunch. Ryan had prepared a spectacular variety of dishes for their guests, on the four buffet tables in the dining hall.

Those tables were huge, bean-shaped but so long, allowing them to go and grab whatever they wanted, and as much as they were ready to eat.

Chris felt that it would be the right time to tell everyone that the guy who had cooked such a feast would soon become his husband.

His friends had already taken the news about his “reformed” life at the Pleasure Dome with a grain of salt — or, more likely, sulphur.

– “I guess I should have seen it coming... Of course, they needed you to put the “Ho” in “Hotel business”, Chris.”

Things only took a turn for the worse when they heard about Ryan and him being engaged — one look at Chris with his blond friend was enough to elicit a few smiles, smirks and chuckles.

– “Oh, well... Isn't this just When Hairy meets Slutty?”

That was the most positive comment he could get from his friends.

Ryan didn't know how to respond, or talk to them. It was better for him to go back to work, in the kitchen — most of the talks about Chris and him would happen behind his back, anyway.

– “Good catch for Chris, I guess.” Paula suggested. “Isn't he a darling?”

– “Quite a daring darling...” Anita nodded, with a knowing smile.

Chris knew he had to move on, and fast. This could turn into a disaster.

Still holding Ryan's hand, he went to a few more groups of friends, but they were really sliding away from the dining hall, hardly listening to the conversations or sharing comments about one man or another.

– “So, both their grandfathers died from an overdose?”

– “That's right.”

– “You said they were accountants for the Federal Reserve.”

– “Yes. Numbers kept adding up, and some people go from addition to addiction before they know it... It only took one Black Thursday to make them go crazy and try to jump from the top storey of the building.”

– “I was told that one of my grandmothers died during a Black Friday... She was fighting over a skirt, and she got thrown out the window.”

– “That's quite a story too.”

– “It was on ground floor, at least. She should have survived.”

As soon as they were in the kitchen, behond closed doors, Ryan let out a sigh of relief. Chris pounced on him and held him in a tight hug. He felt sorry about the whole scene with his so-called, social friends.

– “It's okay, Chris. They'll get over it.”

– “At least you've seen Anita and her husband.”

– “And they've seen us.”

– “Oh! it's not like we're even...”

– “Bryan doesn't look like I pictured him.”

– “Why? What kind of guy did you expect?”

– “I don't know. You said he was a drug dealer...”

– “Bryan doesn't deal drugs!” Chris scoffed. “...that I know of.”

– “You said he was into opium or something.”

– “Nuh huh. I told you he was rich with OPM... Other People's Money? Bryan is a trader, in Wall Street.”

– “What's a trader?” Ryan looked puzzled again.

– “The ruin of civilization as we know it...” Chris rolled his eyes.

■ ■ ■

Tuesday afternoon — in Lou's corner, at the Pleasure Dome's bar

Guy and Lou were standing as witnesses, most of the time — acting as bartender and waiter for their guests. At some point, they asked Chris to step aside too, and join them for a short pause.

– “Quite a party, right?”

– “I agree... They're all big eaters, and heavy drinkers too.”

– “Didn't I tell you about my friends?”

– “You did.” Lou nodded carefully. “There's something you didn't tell us.”

Chris didn't expect this, but he invited his friends to ask.

– “Why did you ask Ryan? You know, like this...”

– “I would like to tell you that he was the best choice for me, but what other options did I have?” Chris took a deep breath. “Think about it. You and Guy are an item. Austin is my cousin, and the only mutual feeling I have with Hawk is animosity.”

– “You could always ask Diego...” Guy suggested.

– “He's not even around, at the moment.”

Lou lowered his voice for what he had to say.

– “I've heard your friends talking about Ryan. Even as he keeps coming and going with plates and platters in his hands, from the kitchen to the dining hall, most of them keep thinking that you've hired a professional male hustler for this week.”

– “Oh, really...” Chris wasn't even surprised by this.

– “Did you do this on purpose?”

– “What do you mean?”

– “You know... Is it because Ryan is such a thunderbolt in bed?”

– “Please!” Chris scoffed. “He's a rain of fire, gold, wine and sweets.”

Guy leaned forward against the counter.

– “Okay... How long have you and Ryan been, as you say, an item?”

– “That's none of your business!”

– “I think it is. We're in this whole business together.”

Lou leaned to the side, taking his big boyfriend's defense as he grabbed the tall redhead bear's paws in his soft hands for a moment.

– “Guy has a point. Besides, we're all adults here.”

– “I guess you two have a right to know...” Chris sighed. “Forgive me for acting so defensive, please? I've been facing the music all morning. My friends didn't come all the way up here to cut me any slacks.”

– “Hawk had a hunch that you and Ryan were having sex... let's say, on a regular basis, for quite some time?”

– “You could say that.”

– “When did you get so close?” Guy asked. “Was it when that major bully spent a few days with us, at the Pleasure Dome?”

– “That was pretty fucked up, you're right.”

– “Please, Chris!” Lou shuddered. “There was nothing pretty about it.”

– “Ryan was really shaken... He still is. And yes, we did it then. A lot.”

– “And that's when you started considering him as... what, your on-and-off, would-be boyfriend?”

– “Actually, no...”

– “Why not?”

Chris turned his back to the crowd for good. This was definitely private.

– “For starters, Ryan is always “on”. But you know that...”

– “Who doesn't, at this point? Why, then?”

– “Because we started having sex, as you say, a lot earlier than this.”

– “How early are we talking?”

– “Was it before I joined the team?” Guy raised an eyebrow.

– “Oh! yes...”

– “Okay, Chris. We should have expected this, after all.” Lou reasoned, always the level-headed member of the team. “You don't waste time in this game of catch-and-run, and Ryan... is quite a catch. How long did it take you to do it, after you came to the Pleasure Dome?”

– “Maybe two weeks.”

– “Okay. That was fast.”

– “How long did you guys wait?” Chris fired back with a smug smile. “You both spent the night in each other's bed on your first date. And don't get me wrong... I admire you for it.”

– “This isn't the same.” Lou whispered, blushing a bit.

– “How is it any different from what I have with Ryan?”

– “For starters, you felt like you had to hide it from us.”

That was a fair move, but it hit Chris hard — worse than a bull's eye.

– “Okay. I guess I didn't want to make it messy... until now.”

Guy didn't feel like hurting his friend's feelings. He kept his voice low.

– “Ryan may be a teddy bear, but he's not a toy... I'm afraid that you're toying with his emotions, right now.”

– “Please! I'm not tearing him apart. I'm not that kind of spoiled kid.”

Again, Lou agreed with his boyfriend, as if he had read his thoughts.

– “Whatever marriage may mean to you, or to those judges who decide who you're allowed to marry in the United States, it's not the same for Ryan... He can be a bad boy all the way, but he's a good Catholic boy. He is serious about all this. Marriage means something to him.”

– “What makes you think that what I have to offer is meaningless?”

– “I'm only hoping that it's not...”

– “We're not blaming you for what you have with him.”

– “Of course, you don't want to hurt our friend. Then...”

Guy let out a low growl.

– “Hawk may have gone too far, suggesting that you would use Ryan as a “trophy husband” just to make your friends jealous, as they're about to get married.”

– “Honestly? I can't blame him for thinking so...”

– “I was afraid that you would let all your high school friends believe that you have a handsome, caring, clueless “boy toy” at hand, at the Pleasure Dome. I know how sleazy that sounds...”

– “Please! I've spent all morning trying to convince them otherwise.”

– “And it did make me feel better, as I was waiting those tables.”

– “Thank you.”

– “It made me wonder, however... Did you and Anita have a thing, back in high school? Or did you and Bryan fight over her?”

Chris suddenly blushed, then he burst out laughing.

– “Wow, Guy! Your father should have hired you in his secret Police. Poor Hawk wouldn't stand a chance, right now...”

– “So, it's true? You and Anita did have a fling.”

– “You want to know the truth, guys? The whole truth?”

Lou and Guy looked a bit puzzled. Chris was in a playful mood.

– “Ten years ago, I had sex with Anita a couple times, but I also had sex with her official boyfriend Bryan on more than one occasion... When they were elected Prom King and Queen, I could hardly keep a straight face.”

– “Oh! I bet.”

– “So... Is this a way for you to tell them both that you've moved on?”

– “With someone so much better than all your classmates put together.”

– “Okay then...”

There was music in the hall. Chris would certainly want to dance with his friends — or maybe pull the strings of some of his dancing puppets.

– “I was afraid that you would just make a mockery of their wedding.”

– “A straight wedding, between two people like them? What's the fun?”

– “This is more than traditional marriage versus same-sex marriage.”

– “Marriage isn't the same as sex.”

– “That's true for the straight ones... They couldn't hold a candle to what I have with Ryan. That would be like holding a candle against the sun!”

Almost on cue, they saw Ryan putting more plates and platters of food on the buffet tables. He had to go back to the kitchen in a hurry, without a word. He came and went unnoticed, since the guests ignored him.

– “Be it as it may, you should be careful, Chris...”

– “There's no real danger here. We should be fine.”

– “Still...” Guy shook his head.

– “Yes?”

– “Still water runs deep...”

Ryan was collecting all the empty, dirty plates in the room.

“And my head's still spinning when he stands so still.” Chris thought..

■ ■ ■

Wednesday morning — in Hawk's living room, by the lighthouse

Hawk had spent the whole afternoon with a younger coast guard, who needed some training for the job. He didn't mind helping a new recruit — it allowed him to avoid his meetings with their really pointless questions, unnecessary insistence on futile details and bordeline harassment.

On the other hand, his investigation had to be a touchy subject in the mayor's office, and the guy in charge wasn't given an easy task.

The living room was so quiet, the door creaked quite ominously...

Inspector Badgett eventually spotted Austin sitting on the couch, with a blank expression on his face. He didn't respond when he called him from a distance, then he didn't react when the inspector cleared his voice, moving closer to him.

– “Sir? Are you... Huh, are you high?”

– “Wow... If you call me “Sir”, you're the one who's high.”

– “Are you okay? You look...”

– “I'm fine.”

Austin slowly rubbed his gut, in long circles.

– “Young man, are you on some substance abuse?”

– “I'm stuffed. I'm on a sugar high, right now. What are you going to do, arrest me? Call the Sweets suits? The Ice Cream Police? That would be a scream, if you ask me...”

– “What if I asked you a few questions?”

– “About me eating brownies and salted butter toffee with my bucket of rhum-raisin ice cream? Be my guest.”

– “Did Hawk provide you with all these?”

– “Huh... I guess.”

– “So, would you say that he is your... sugar daddy?”

Austin couldn't hep laughing out loud. He didn't care that it made him look rather rude — the handsome, well-fed black boy had a hunch that inspector Badgett didn't really know what a “sugar daddy” was.

– “Oh! I wish... Let's be serious, if you have serious questions to ask.”

Inspector Badgett was still a bit uncomfortable, next to that tall pile of treats and pastries he was pretty sure he wasn't allowed to touch — if he wished to come back to his wife with the right number of fingers.

– “I do have questions, but maybe I should ask someone else...”

– “Why?”

– “You haven't been the most cooperative witness. To say the least.”

– “Cooperative? For what? You've been sent on a wild goon's chase! This is retribution, pure and simple... Hawk didn't do anything wrong, and if you don't know it by now, my guess is that you'll never learn.”

– “Careful, young man. You're talking to an inspector on duty here!”

– “Is this what you consider your duty? Give it a rest, or save it for your next conference to the Press. You don't do anything at your best! You do everything at mayor Cochrane's behest...”

Austin had to grab a large piece of apple pie in each hand, in order to feel a bit better — and resist the urge to slap the inspector in the face.

– “You have... quite a sharp tongue.”

– “I have a big mouth. And I would like to keep it full, right now!”

– “Is there anyone around here I could ask questions to?”

– “At the hotel, maybe... There's Chris.”

– “Who's Chris?”

– “My cousin. He likes to think he runs the Pleasure Dome. You go to him if you want a white guy's colorful opinion about mayor Cochrane's policy of “lower standards, bigger police checks”... Be my guest!”

– “But would he give me an accurate, favourable testimony?”

– “Huh... Accurate? Sure, if you catch him in a good mood.”

It did sound like “Good luck catching him anyway”.

– “I guess Hawk and your cousin are not friends?”

– “Oh! that would be a pretty good guess.”

– “Does he have, like... a low opinion of him?”

– “Please! Hawk is almost 6'6" tall. Everyone's opinion of him is low...”

Inspector Badgett closed his notebook. He had to give up, at this point.

■ ■ ■

Wednesday night — in the Royal Suite, at the Pleasure Dome

– “What kept you so busy, all evening?”

– “Unclogging drains...”

– “You're used to doing this regularly, with your shower.”

– “Thirty-seven toilets. It's not the same.”

– “Oh! I see.” Chris blinked. “I guess our guests are... really full of it.”

– “You did warn us about your friends.”

– “Right. They're really full of themselves.”

Ryan was slowly taking off his waiter's bow tie and jacket, which were all too tight around his neck, his chest and belly. It was only natural that he didn't enjoy wearing clothes, at this point.

Chris cupped the back of his friend's head with both hands, threading daring fingers through Ryan's luxuriant, long blond hair again, wrapping around as much of his neck as possible, slowly going up and down to his shoulders... It made him want to growl like his “trophy husband”, like a bear, into his deep exhales.

– “You know, your friends are so loud, I can't hear them sometimes.”

– “As if they had anything interesting to say...”

– “And what makes them think that I was a high school dropout?”

– “Well...”

– “I didn't even make it to high school.” Ryan looked down.

– “And you were already out in primary school.”

Chris let himself drown in his blond friend's eyes, slowly coming closer until Ryan kissed him on the lips and brought him back to life... Then he hugged him so tight as he could.

They took each other’s clothes off. Chris thought about the beginning of any relationship, when the first thing you want to do is to have sex, then cuddle, then maybe have some pillow talk... His hands were guided all over Ryan's body and his own, as if his partner was reading his mind — just as he kissed him in all the right places at the right moments. Ryan let him breathe, moan and grow hungry for more...

Chris didn’t have to think or worry about anything. He closed his eyes, followed his husband's moves and responded to his own pleasure — this blond beefcake always made everything feel easier and more enjoyable than expected.

Barefoot like him, he followed Ryan into the bathroom.

– “How are you holding up with your diet?”

– “Huh... I'm good.” Ryan mumbled, as he was brushing his teeth.

– “Hungry tonight?”

– “Surprisingly not...”

– “Well, you're no longer eating whole salad bowls of cottage cheese and cream, or guzzling hypercaloric milkshakes, but you're still eating.”

– “Salad.”

– “Yes...” Chris chuckled. “I guess the timing is good for us. With your snacks and milkshakes like, every hour, on the hour... You didn't have a moment to yourself. People would think you're married to that shaker.”

– “Oh... Right. I'm supposed to be married to one of the world's major movers and shakers now.”

– “Hey!” Chris laughed, then he almost purred, as Ryan moved to hold him in a comforting but deeply arousing embrace. “You know... You rock my world. Steady as a rock. And there's no shaking you.”

– “Then neither of us is moving anywhere.”

Chris spotted a shiny square on the floor, in a corner of the bathroom.

– “Would you mind standing on the scales for me, big boy?”

– “Oh... I don't mind if you do.”

– “Okay. I'll go first.”

Standing in his speedo, Chris weighed 172lbs.

– “I have to say, I'm impressed. You're always so lean.”

– “How about you?”

Ryan took a deep breath, then he stepped on the scales.

– “Okay! 262lbs.”

– “Still overweight...” Ryan rubbed his belly, smiling and blushing a bit.

– “That's right! You're chubby. You're fat. You're a fat bear.”

Chris came close behind his back, resting his chin on Ryan's shoulder and holding on to him as he placed both hands on the handsome bear's hairy belly to keep those playful tummy rubs coming.

– “Of course, this is nothing new for me. You've always been excessively chubby... where it matters.”

– “Come on, Chris.” Ryan closed his eyes.

– “All this looks good on you.”

– “You don't think I'm too fat?”

– “When we're alone together like this, I don't.”

– “And when your friends are standing around us?”

– “Oh! then you're way too fat...” Chris joked, in a dramatic tone. “You shouldn't even eat so many fruits and vegetables. Who wouldn't wish to keep you hidden in a closet, or something? Seriously, Ryan... I just love you as you are. You're my husband, my teddy bear... What am I going to tell my friends? And why should we care? You can always count on them to point at us and laugh.”

As much as he tried to follow Chris in his overly dramatic statement, Ryan had only heard him say “I love you” — and the rest didn't mean a thing in the world.

– “Who's hungry now?” He turned his head to whisper to Chris.

– “What do you have in mind, big bear?”

– “Shower, first?”

– “Oh! you're always so dirty...”

– “I try.” Ryan responded with a smile and a kiss.

Chris let go of him, and stretched out his arms.

– “You know, Ryan...”

– “Yes, Chris?”

– “Since we're husbands now, we could do it without condoms.”

Ryan didn't say a word. Chris could see that the idea shocked him.

– “Are you... Are you sure? This is really serious.”

– “So am I. When was the last time you got tested?”

– “Last week.”

– “Did you get the results?”

– “Of course.”

– “And you're clean.”

– “I am...”

Chris held the blond jock's paws in his hands.

– “Are you telling me that... you've never gone bareback?”

– “Honestly? Maybe once or twice, but that was years ago...”

There was a moment of silence. Chris hugged him again.

– “You're the only natural blonde I know who's cleaner than bleach.”

Ryan's heart was still racing, in his chest. His head was spinning.

– “I guess it's okay, if that's what you want.”

– “Think about it, like... not having to wear such a tight bow tie around your neck, all the time, for instance?”

– “It's not the same.”

– “I know. For a truly big guy like you, it's ten times worse!”

Chris wouldn't back down, and Ryan was always eager to please him.

– “Okay, Chris. We'll get there... I just need a minute.”

– “Then we can shower together.”

When he came back, Chris saw how serious his friend was about this.

In a matter of minutes, the room was thoroughly cleaned up. Ryan had put everything in its place for their shower, and turned the atmosphere in the bathroom from warm to downright steamy...

It would feel like a dream, if the man standing in there wasn't so big and bulky. There was no doubt that he was real, with both feet firmly on the ceramics tiles, all the more fantastic for that reason.

Ryan must have put his head under the faucet, letting cold water clear his mind and somehow pulling his wet hair straight against the back of his neck — it looked like sun-drenched satin, and it made him look like a thirsty bad boy. His warm, sensitive nature was quietly shining through, however, and Chris could notice just a hint of sadness in his green and blue eyes... He looked just so anxious as he was excited.

Chris knew him well. It made his mouth water, but it also moved him in some unexpected way. Maybe Lou and Guy were right about their friend?

– “I'm always amazed at how you get to do these things in a heartbeat.”

– “There's nothing to it... I'm ready.”

– “You're always ready for this.”

Chris teased him, pulling down his speedo... He knew Ryan was only wearing his boxer shorts to let him get down to his knees and play for a while. That was one bad boy's favor to another.

– “What can I say?” Ryan closed the door, with a dreamy smile. “I never know what to expect from you.”

– “Yes you do.”

– “I really don't... You're a wild lover, Chris.”

– “Come one, Ryan! You're the truly wild one. You’re the yang to my yin, and vice versa... Meatballs for my spaghetti. Peanut butter for my jelly... You’re a massive, pouncing Hobbes to my Calvin Klein’s!”

As soon as they stepped into the shower, Chris rested his back against the wall, and Ryan started kissing him on the lips — swiftly moving down to his neck and his chest, spending some time on his sensitive nipples, then further down to his hard abs, licking and nibbling there and there. He had gently pulled those red speedos down to his ankles, holding Chris by the hips with firm hands, and slowly going around to tease and rub his tight buttocks, while he was busy giving him the most exquisite and invigorating blowjob a man could wish for...

He didn't rush anything. Chris was so lost in the moment that he forgot about the hot water running all over his face... Ryan kept him standing up, when he was already feeling weak in the knees, then a sudden brush of his tongue or a soft kiss in the right spot would send shivers through his spine and put him back in position for some time. When Chris felt like he was about to come, Ryan found a way to distract him and keep him aroused to the point where it was almost painful. He didn't edge him for a second but, in almost tantric way, both men managed to let out most of the steam in some other way than a raw, dramatic explosion.

Stiff as he was, Chris knew he would always be putty in his friend's hands — and mouth. He was just a lump of clay for him to mould into a grown man... What this blond jock could achieve, using only his hands, was already quite alarming. Taking Chris deep into his throat, so deep as they could go, devouring him completely, even a beast like him couldn't make it last forever.

– “I can't... hold on. I need to...”

Right on cue, Ryan gave him the final blow. Chris came so loud and so long that the walls around them shook like dead leaves on a tree during a winter storm. There was a long moment of silence... Chris had to catch his breath. When he opened his eyes, he found himself resting against his lover's chest.

– “Let me rub your back... You're so tense. You'll feel better.”

Ryan was quite still again, holding his breath. He couldn't keep his eyes off his “husband”, as he was slowly but vigorously rubbing his back with a loofah sponge, in the shower. He let his mind wander off, as his palms and fingers kept working their magic. Chris would always have that fine, twinkish look about him, smooth and limber, with good muscle tone but long, lean and tight limbs — the poor guy couldn't grow facial hair if his life depended on it. Ryan didn't mind...

As he was about to let out a long moan of unbound sensual delight, Chris felt his friend's lips on the back of his neck, then a pair of large, strong hands going from his shoulders to his lower back, then further down to his buttocks again, gently working out all the kinks and knots in the most arousing ways one would dare to ask from a massage.

– “Your turn, big bear.” Chris felt the need to return the favor.

He didn't waste time with his friend's drenched boxer shorts.

Then he opened wide, and invited Ryan into his mouth — taking him one inch at a time... Only he was so thick, and harder and hotter than a slab of marble under the midsummer sun. Chris knew he couldn’t fit all of him into his throat, but he seemed determined to try, slowly relaxing his gag reflex — and letting that massive, pulsing girth stretch him wider and wider... Ryan gave him plenty of time to adjust.

When he felt prepared, Chris did his best to swallow him all the way down, as much as he could — feeling that dense forest of warm blond curls coming closer to his face, smelling fresh and clean but intense, like a jungle of that eucalyptus and green tea body wash from the shower soap dispenser... It also tasted as if the big jock was still stuffed full of intoxicatingly tasty, creamy milkshakes.

Ryan moved his hips slowly, responding to Chris and inviting him to a gentle pace... He also placed both hands on his shoulders, to encourage him and comfort him at the same time — then Chris felt like his blond friend was about to come, and he made it clear that he wouldn't back away. They both took their sweet time to keep each other on the edge.

When Ryan finally shot his load in strong, surging and abundant jets, Chris was secretely proud to keep licking that thick, long shaft — like a huge piece of juicy liquorice... He wanted his lover to stay impressed at how horny he was, no matter what.

Then Chris felt himself be slowly lifted up in his arms. Ryan was ready to take him to bed. He opened his eyes, and brushed a wet curl out of his blond friend’s face, with a short laugh.

– “That was a good first round...”

They were still wide awake, lost in hot running water and steam, but it wouldn't be long before they both fell on top of each other for the rest of the night...

■ ■ ■

Thursday morning — in the kitchen

Chris was determined to introduce Ryan to their guests, and allow him to look his best. Once every guy was done gorging on breakfast, when the buttons on their shirts would tell them not to grab another bite, he invited a group of friends for a short tour of the kitchen.

Guy was standing in the corner, slicing and dicing vegetables, while Ryan was cooking and looking after four large pots with boiling water, as he was going back and forth in long strides.

The tidy place had to be much to Diana's liking.

– “What a prick... (cough) prank... (cough) practical room.”

Anita wasn't the only one whose eyes lingered, as she took a good look at the Pleasure Dome's cook, shirtless under his cooking apron.

– “Yes... I understand how this is where the magic happens.”

– “Our friends Ryan and Guy here can cook eight different dishes at the same time, for your lunch or dinner. It gets quite impressive, when we have so many guests as tonight.”

– “Impressive, for sure.” Brenda cooed, elbowing her friend Anita.

– “How fuck... (cough) funk... (cough) functionnal.” Diana commented.

– “Of course, all this keeps our cooks quite busy at all times, and Ryan gets easily distracted. So he keeps a timer with a different chime, next to each cooking spot.”

– “Oh, that's cunt... (cough) cush... (cough) consciencious.”

Anita twisted her lips into a smile, still standing like a statue.

– “Yes... He's quite a hunk of meatloaf for your breakfast.”

Guy didn't appreciate her comments.

“What's with that deadpan attitude? I would do better with a frying pan.”

He kept to himself, while everyone's eyes were on Ryan.

Chris finally had to ask Anita and her friends.

– “Does it bother you that I'm engaged to Ryan?”

– “Oh! I always knew that, if you had to find yourself a partner, a mate, it would be someone who would slut... I mean... slot somewhere toward the gay end of the Kinsey Scale.”

Out of the blue, Ryan actually came to his rescue. He had just prepared a number of fancy hors-d'œuvres for Chris and his friends to enjoy.

As they tasted one piece or another, on the kitchen counter, he moved close to Chris and answered their guests' questions, holding his hand in front of everyone.

– “I can see how you were smitten to smithereens, Chris...”

It looked so friendly and familiar, almost domestic. Chris felt the weight of Ryan’s paw holding his hand, with that gentle pulse echoing down into his very soul... He could feel that deep need and want in Ryan’s gentle touch, wishing that they could be a “real” couple too. Was he projecting? Maybe — then, when he took a sideways look at his “trophy husband”, Chris could tell that those feelings weren’t just his alone.

Diana brought everyone back to reality.

– “Oh! that's a huge dick... (cough) dish... (cough) dictionary.”

Her friends turned and saw Ryan's Iturritik-English dictionary.

– “Why do you keep a book like this in the kitchen?”

– “We are studying the language of my native clans.” Guy answered.

– “Naked... I mean, native. As in tribes?”

– “The Iturritik are descendants from local native American people and settlers coming from the Basque country, between Spain and France.”

– “Iturritik...” Bryan scoffed. “It does sound tribal to me.”

– “It means “from the source”, in Basque.”

Bryan had barely said a word until now. He was still frowning.

– “So you are studying Basque... folklore?”

– “In a way...” Ryan didn't want to antagonize their guest. “The Iturritik clans have created a colorful, rich and refined culture, after they were taught to read and write with the Roman alphabet, around 1600.”

– “Like songs and dances?”

– “Yes. I'm working on translating some of their poems.”

– “Oh, poems?” Grace seemed to wake up just then.

– “Huh... Poems from around 1600? That's Shakespeare's time.” Bryan put his hands in his pockets, with a wry smile on his face. “It should be right up your alley, Grace.”

– “Of course! I've never heard of these... Iturritik, though.”

Everyone turned to Ryan again.

– “Why don't you recite a few lines to us?”

– “Oh... I don't know.”

– “Come on. This is your moment... since we “basque” in your glow.”

– “Well... I'm working on nursery rhymes, right now.”

– “How lovely! Let's hear this.”

Ryan cleared his voice, and started reciting softly.

In winter, so white with snowflakes,

when our shadows are blue,

I eat the most delicious cakes

& the cookies my mother bakes,

while most children eat glue.

All the guests around Chris and him started laughing, in an uproar...

They had to get out of the kitchen, and get some fresh air outside. In a matter of minutes, the other guests were told about the whole incident.

It didn't come as much of a surprise for anyone, but it seemed to be worth repeating.

– “Is he really so dumb as he looks?”

– “His heart's in the right place, I guess...” Anita shrugged. “But he's so dumb, he would read to the deaf and pole dance for the blind!”

■ ■ ■

Thursday night — in Lou's bedroom

Guy rubbed his boyfriend's belly with one hand, as he was feeding him treats in bed. Lou was resting against the pillows, with his arms crossed behind his head.

– “And... what did Ryan do?”

– “He went back to work.”

– “What did Chris do?”

– “He followed his friends. I helped Ryan cook some more.”

– “That's a stroke of bad luck, really.”

Lou felt bad for his friends... From the very beginning, Ryan had done his best to make Chris look good in the eyes of his high school friends. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed that every attempt was doomed to fail, somehow — while their guests were either condescending, smug, dismissive, demeaning or downright rude to him... Guy confirmed that everyone was still acting as if Ryan's presence at he Pleasure Dome was a hoax, as is he was only a male escort acting like he could cook.

– “Didn't they see you and Ryan cook, in the kitchen?”

– “They did.”

– “And they couldn't believe their eyes?”

– “I guess not. Then, I don't know...” Guy shrugged. “They would believe my father's spokesperson, on the news.”

– “Oh! I don't think we could ask Karen Leavett to help us.”

– “Make a public statement? That's her job. Tell the truth? That's against everything she stands for...”

Guy fed him a few more pieces of cocktail pies.

– “I don't feel sorry for Chris. He would have it easy...”

– “How can you think so? He can't get his old friends to look at his new friend without ripping his heart out.”

– “That's not what I meant. Getting married to Ryan? Think about it.”

– “Ryan may be “easy”, but marriage is still tough.”

– “And Ryan is a tough guy too, but I couldn't help thinking...”

– “Yes?”

– “He's an orphan. He's lost both his parents in that car accident.”

– “Oh... That's true.”

Lou let his boyfriend hug him in a teddy bear's embrace.

– “I wish you and I could get married, but you already know how much we would have to fight.”

– “Come on, Guy. I've met your mother... You've met my mother... and we've both survived! That was one big step in the right direction.”

– “I know...”

– “I bet they have already started discussing the ceremony together, down to the last details. I should start working on my wedding vows...”

Guy chuckled, but he wouldn't move, holding on to him.

– “It wouldn't be a wedding if my father didn't walk me down the aisle.”

– “Even if we got... live doves?”

– “Oh! I don't care so much about the floral archs, the place cards and the ice statues... I never understood why people throw rice at weddings, anyway.”

– “Back in the day, they used to throw candy at the guests of honor.”

– “No way! Such a waste of perfectly good rice, and candy.”

– “We would never do such a thing...”

– “I would buy a ton of white rice, and ask Ryan to make hundreds of sweet treats, but I would feed them to you. Every last piece of candy.”

– “How about the rice?”

– “Again, I would feed you a thousand sushi... like a Sumō wrestler.”

Even with his mouth full, Lou let out a long moan of pleasure.

– “You really want me to grow fat, like a Sumō wrestler.”

– “I do.”

Guy said those words as if a priest had just asked him if he was ready to take Lou's hand in holy matrimony.

– “I want you to grow a really large, round and soft belly.”

– “Okay, I will.”

– “And I can't wait for your handsome face to grow rounder too, with fuller cheeks and a double chin...”

– “I should get there, at some point.”

– “You've gained weight so well. You should get fat.”

– “I will grow my belly rounder than a meatball... but I want you to gain weight, so you always outweigh me, Guy. You should be able to lift me in your arms, sweep me off my feet, if you want us to get married.”

These two young men were definitely hot for each other.

– “I only wonder...”

– “What about?”

– “Where could we actually get married?”

– “In a state we still have to fight for.”

– “No doubt.”

– “You know what? We'll get married in glass.”

– “What's that?”

– “GLASS. Gay Liberation, Awereness, Safety, Stability.”

– “You couldn't get one of those to mean Sex...”

– “Hey! you can't say “glass” without saving “ass” for the end.”

Lou kissed his boyfriend all over his hairy chest.

– “A marriage of glass. That doesn't sound very solid.”

– “Everything we fight for is fragile, but precious.”

– “Everything like...”

– “Gay rights. Freedom of speech. Democracy.”

– “I couldn't agree more.”

Guy rubbed his well-fed boyfriend's belly again.

– “I could always ask my aunt Maiana...”

– “In Vancouver? Please don't.”

– “Why not? She's a minister... in her own way.”

– “She's a wiccan.”

– “So?”

– “Did you mean to say “minister” or “sinister”, Guy?”

– “For all we know, she could be a sister and a minister.”

– “There's one thing I know...”

– “What is it?”

– “If she got her hands on me before we get married, she would fatten me up so much, you would have to roll me down the aisle...”

The tall redhead bear blushed, but laughed with his boyfriend.

– “You have plenty of time to work on your wedding vows.”

■ ■ ■

Thursday night — in the Royal Suite, at the Pleasure Dome

Ryan waited for Chris, spreading himself and stretching out his arms all over the bedsheets... Golden curls blanketed his well-rounded belly and meaty pecs, in a thick mat, with a swath that went up to his neck and neatly trimmed bushes under his armpits.

Chris was coming back from the bathroom... He could barely stand up, after their latest round on the couch, but he had insisted that he wanted to find Ryan ready for him in bed, like a man-sized teddy bear.

He didn't expect to find him bathed in the soft light of small candles, set on both bedposts, and with such large ribbons of red slik playfully wrapped all around his neck, his chest and waist, also holding his wrists softly tied together above his head. Those knots were for him to untie... The mere sight of it, and Ryan's inviting smile, made his heart beat like drums in the jungle.

Chris took a walk with his nimble fingers, all the way up Ryan's chest, until he reached and caressed his full beard. It felt so much softer than expected. Then a large treasure trail of wet blond coils led from his belly button down to that proud and mighty, daring tower where a man could climb all the way up to Paradise.

– “I'm sorry. My friends are giving you such a hard time.”

– “It's okay.”

The knot holding his wrists tied would be saved for last... Chris slowly took the ribbon away from Ryan's waist.

– “How about your friends, big bear?”

– “Which ones?”

– “You know...”

– “You mean Austin?”

– “Of course not. Your childhood friends, when you were a bear cub.”

– “I don't know... I'm afraid that I wasn't much of a bear cub, really.”

– “Why? You were too skinny...”

– “Sadly, I was.”

– “And you didn't have any friend?”

– “I had a few... for a while.”

Chris kept teasing his trophy husband, playing around his nipples with his fingers, lips and tongue, as he let the long ribbon slide all around his back and chest.

– “What happened to them?”

– “I guess they grew up. Or maybe they didn't, when I did... Then I knew what kind of man I was, and I thought they should know. Then my friends stopped talking to me. They started threatening me when I came too close to them. A few of them told me how much they hated me now. A few others told me they would kill me.”

– “Did they really mean it?”

– “I hope not, but they told me so pretty much every day.”

– “I see...”

– “It was better for me to ignore what they said. So I did.”

– “Of course.”

– “Then it was easier for them if I was no longer around. So I left.”

– “So the only people who didn't want you to leave wanted you dead?”

– “That's right. I didn't have much of a choice.”

– “What made them so mad at you?”

– “Besides being gay? That was more than enough, for them.”

– “Did everyone know, around you?”

– “No... Of course not. I wasn't out like that.”

– “Why did they want to kick you out, then?”

– “They thought I was voting too often, and not praying enough.”

– “It does sound very Southern...”

Ryan didn't comment on it. Chris leaned forward and rested on top of him, like a surfer on his board, about to ride a tidal wave... The blond jock crunched up a bit, just to kiss him on the lips — holding his breath, ready to be teased even more.

– “How long have you been sleeping with your teddy bear?”

– “He's always been there... I was two years old.”

– “Was it a birthday gift for you?”

– “Of course.”

Chris didn't insist. His hands started playing with the knot around Ryan's wrists. How he could get it tied so neatly was a mystery.

– “You didn't have a teddy bear, as a child?”

– “My parents didn't believe in buying toys for children.”

– “Did you get, like... a pony?”

– “No, but I could have. For some reason, a poney felt like a “girly” kind of gift... I should have asked my parents for an actual bear cub.”

– “It's a good thing that you didn't.”

– “No doubt about it!” Chris laughed.

– “I'm sorry that you didn't get your teddy bear.”

– “I guess I did, in due time.”

Ryan let out a deep sigh. Chris was kissing him most tantalizingly.

– “How about you? What did you get for your birthday?”

– “Me? Oh, you know... Stuff.”

– “What kind of stuff?”

– “New suits... Fancy clothes, you know, to go visit the president in the rose garden, at the White House. Go to France for another garden party in the jardins de l'Élysée, in Paris.”

– “Always so dapper.”

– “I know... You wouldn't see me with the skinheads and goth kids at the CBGB in the East Village.”

– “What's that?”

– “CBGB? Country, Bluegrass and Blues.”

– “Classic stuff.”

– “Misleading, too. They were into punk rock, dark wave...” Chris rubbed his friend's furry chest. “And those kids gave me the heebie-jeebies.”

– “Your parents didn't want you to wear that much black, then?”

– “Please... They wanted me to be a butterfly.”

– “Butterflies only live for a day or two.”

– “I know, but they have sex all day. All their lives... Just sex.”

– “Come on... Your parents wanted you to be a peacock.”

– “I guess you're right, but I didn't want my cock to look like a pea.”

– “You didn't get butter in your fly either... I hope.”

Chris laughed again, and he kissed him on the lips.

– “I wanted a big bear like you to butter me up...”

Ryan's beard was soft but abundant, and rough, enclosing his mouth and giving him tingles from the top of his skull to the tips of his toes.

He kissed Chris softly but thoroughly, wrapping his well-muscled arms around him and almost crushing him against his deep, thick and meaty chest. Chris would never suffocate in such a bear hug. His fingers had a mind of their own, as they explored the rich fur on that chest, going up from his belly until they started playing with his nipples... The two young men kept it going with their lips and tongues for a seemingly endless amount of time — Chris started moaning because Ryan's facial hair kept gently scratching on his chin in a way he wouldn’t be able to hide.

– “I have never had sex with someone so rich as you...”

– “You've never had sex with someone so poor.” Ryan corrected.

– “No, I mean it. You're so meaty... and fat! You're like a rich, thick and creamy butterscotch sauce over moist triple dark chocolate fudge cake.”

Chris saw his friend slowly rise and stand up before him, in the dark.

– “Chris...” He whispered, breathing like a steam engine.

– “Ryan?”

– “Did you really mean this?”

– “I really did. That's how I feel, when I'm with you now...”

Ryan let out a long, low bear growl. Even Hawk couldn't sound like this.

– “You're insanely hot, but you cool me down. You're so calm, so quiet... You know what to do when I feel anxious, angry or frustrated. You follow your instincts, and I always end up feeling so relaxed that I just lay and play on top of you, like a cat on a warm carpet, in a patch of sunlight.”

Chris felt his friend's lips against his, locked in an airtight kiss.

– “Calm... Down... Then let me be nice, dirty and slutty to you.”

Ryan was serious, and fierce, even as his naturally gentle tone of voice sounded at odds with the forcefulness of his words.

– “What are you going to do to me?” Chris asked a bit playfully.

– “I'll show you butterflies, bad boy... and make you feel like one.”

That was enough to leave the young man speechless.

– “Chris...” Ryan whispered, like a volcano about to erupt, with such fire in his eyes that it felt like looking straight into the earth's core. “Do you want your friends to know just how much we enjoy having sex... or to believe that we are newlyweds, ready for a lifelong honeymoon?”

■ ■ ■

Friday morning — in the dining hall

None of the guests staying on the sixth and seventh floors got to enjoy a moment of sleep, that night. Anyone could tell, from the way most of them turned their anger or frustration to the breakfast buffet.

– “I'm telling you... Nathan has already eaten a whole cheesecake.”

– “No way.” Ashley scoffed at the suggestion.

– “He's already gone back for twelve slices... You look me in the eye and tell me that it doesn't amount to a whole cheesecake!”

– “Oh! well, it's pretty good cheesecake...”

– “I can't get enough of these cinnamon rolls.” Paul commented, with his mouth full. “I wish I didn't have to go back to the buffet so soon. I know I'm going to grab three or four more on the way, and I really shouldn't.”

– “You can say that again. You really shouldn't...”

– “Do you have to go back to the buffet?”

– “Oh! definitely... I can almost hear them crying out my name.”

As Paul got up and left the table with his empty plate, Laura and Ashley took a few sideways glances at him.

– “There you go! He just grabbed five more... And he's not done.”

– “You always knew Paul was the grabbing type.”

– “Yes.” Laura shrugged. “And if they're calling him out to be eaten...”

– “I can only imagine what his belt will call him, when you guys leave.”

Chris joined his friends for some coffee, cookies and small talk.

He could feel that everyone's eyes followed him in the room, now — his friends would like their coffee black with two sugars, their cookies with chocolate chips and a little peanut butter on top, and their conversation subjects bitchy as always...

For some reason, they tried not to mention Ryan.

– “Of course, I have no doubt that you also caught his eye.”

– “Which one?” Bryan scoffed. “The green one or the blue one?”

Judy was scarfing down another muffin. She only shrugged... Brenda summed it up for everyone sitting around her.

– “I get what Chris did. That's a marriage of inconvenience...”

■ ■ ■

Friday evening — at the bar, by the dining hall

Hawk needed a drink... He knew where to go. Guy was still playing the piano, for their guests. He nodded to say “good evening” to him.

– “What's your poison?” Lou asked him with a friendly smile.

– “That inspector Badgett, of course... There's a venomous snake, if I ever saw one squirm his way like this, around your place.”

– “Is he really that bad?”

– “I just can't stand that he's always on my back, pretending that it's his duty to “investigate”. It's getting worse... It's a nuisance. It's a plague.”

Lou turned to his boyfriend, with a mischievous smile.

– “Remind me... Did your father get reelected because he promised “low costs” or “locusts” to the people around Pleasance?”

– “Maybe both. Electors get confused so easily...”

Hawk let out one of his signature growls.

– “Come on... I'm looking for counterpoison here.”

– “The usual?”

– “Neat. No need for rocks... I would throw them at those idiots.”

He waved at the crowd of guests going back and forth to the buffet.

– “Why would you thow rocks at them?”

– “Are you telling me that you're not at least tempted to slap them?”

– “I don't know...” Lou shrugged. “They certainly are slap happy.”

– “And they're rude.”

– “We've been over this, Hawk. They're American. What did you expect?”

– “I know, I know...”

– “When you think about it, we've actually been really lucky, working at the Pleasure Dome with Austin and Chris, and Ryan. They're our friends, of course, but they may be the only decent American guys I know.”

– “Well, there's a first time for everything...” Hawk sneered. “But I never thought I would hear anyone call Ryan “decent”, really.”

Guy was coming back with a full plate of cocktail appetizers.

– “What are you girls talking about?”

– “Your guests from the trite state area...”

Obviously, Hawk was still in a bad mood.

– “Come on... They must have some redeeming quality.”

– “Huh...” He turned to take a look at the crowd in the room. “I guess.”

– “What would that be?” Guy asked with a smile.

– “Well... They're fat!”

■ ■ ■

Friday evening — in Hawk's living room, by the lighthouse

Austin was lying on the couch, alone, enjoying a moment of peaceful silence by the fireplace... He would eventually fall asleep there, but he had called his cousin over the phone. There was a knock on the door. It had to be him.

– “Come on in, Chris... Door's unlocked.”

– “How are you doing in there?”

– “It's so quiet, right now...” Austin stretched out his arms. “Living in a bear's den, with a bear? I could get used to this.”

Then he suddenly straightened up, and threw a sharp look at Chris.

– “Don't tell me you've left it at the Pleasure Dome.”

– “Of course not. There you go... Ryan's picnic baskets for you.”

– “Oh! goodie...”

Chris had come to the lighthouse, holding a large basket of treats in each hand, and that was quite a treasure trove for anyone with a sweet tooth — spiced pumpkin tartlets, treacle tartlets, milk chocolate tartlets with orange marmelade, butterscotch banoffee tartlets, crunchy nut and chocolate tartlets, custard tartlets, pineapple tartlets, cherry bakewell tartlets, miniature cheesecakes with peanut butter, passion fruit tartlets with meringue, chocolate tartlets with crumbly peanut pastry, peach cobbler, apricot tartlets with hazelnut pastry and kahlúa cream, smooth and zingy limoncello tarlets, raspberry frangipane tartlets, almond apple tartlets, creamy blackberry mascarpone tartlets, cherry jam and whole black cherries tartlets, passion fruit and tonka bean tartlets, honeyed fig and sweet curd cheese tartlets, and more...

– “Wow...” He didn't expect to find such an abundance of pastries. “How did Ryan get to bake so much?”

– “I asked him for this. After I was reduced to eating defrosted treats for a whole night, he couldn't say no. I guess he felt a little guilty, for some reason. Wonder why...”

– “How many did you make him bake for you?”

– “Hawk and I only told him to provide as many treats as I could fit in my tummy, tonight... This looks good. I should be fine.”

Austin was opening and taking a look into one box after another.

– “How is it going with mayor Cochrane's malicious militia?”

– “Hawk is a big old bear. He can take it.”

– “Good. Let me know how it turns out?”

Chris waished to go back to his friends, at the Pleasure Dome, but his cousin told him to stay for a moment.

– “I didn't just want you to bring me these pastries. Hawk could do it... I wanted to have a word with you, Chris. Please, sit down.”

– “Oh? Okay...”

Austin grabbed a piece of tasty lemon meringue pie.

– “How is it going with your friends and your future husband?”

– “Ryan is a big young bear... He can take it.”

– “Oh! good. To tell you the truth, I was less worried for Hawk.”

– “Well... If you feel the need to know the truth, it's not going great.”

– “And how does Ryan take it?”

– “As usual.”

– “You know what? Fun fact about delicious pastries like these, they can spark your tastebuds so well, it jogs your brain cells... and it brings back some interesting memories.”

– “What memories did you have in mind?”

Chris took a good look at his cousin. Austin was always so smart. He wasn't interested in what Chris had in mind, regarding these “conquests” from his teenage years. They had to deal with more pressing issues.

– “Did you tell Hawk, or the others?”

– “No...” Austin munched it all down. “Did you?”

– “Lou and Guy know. They've pulled it out of me.”

– “How about Ryan?”

– “He doesn't know.”

– “Clueless as always. Oh! Chris...”

– “What?”

– “We all know you didn't marry him for his money.”

Austin stretched out his arm, and grabbed a whole box.

– “Have I ever told you how I got to hire him, as a cook?”

– “I don't think you have...”

– “We were looking for someone dependable, easy, low-key and cheap. Ryan was all these, wrapped in a badly worn pair of jeans, with a pair of sneakers that were close to falling apart... No socks. No sunglasses, and no clothes in his backpack. The faded US Army T-shirt he had brought to his job interview was the only top he had left, at the time.”

– “I bet he looked hungry too.”

– “I was ready to bet that he had not eaten a decent meal for a few days when he knocked on our door. Little did I know that he would turn this place into our home, and the Pleasure Dome.”

– “Ryan's not exactly the best at making a good first impression.”

– “For some reason, we clicked almost immediately. I liked his attitude.”

– “What did you find so appealing about his attitude?”

– “Honestly? I have no idea...”

– “You could tell that he was just so poor as the dirt on his shoes.”

– “Of course. I was almost tempted to adopt him, like a stray dog... We hired him for a two-month trial period. By the end of the week, everyone in the team was crazy about the new cook. We couldn't let him go.”

– “Then, at some point, Ryan was the only member left in your team.”

– “That's when you... made your grand entrance in his life.”

– “Oh, please! You both had a life here, before I came up and shattered your snow globe.”

– “I should think so. Ryan used to date, hook up, get laid and spend the night with so many more young men around the hotel... I should have found it suspicious right off the bat!”

Austin's words had to soak in his cousin's brain — like tea leaves in hot water. Chris had to think about this, seriously consider this. He turned to look straight at him.

– “Are you implying what I think you're implying?”

– “You're a bad influence on him...” Austin returned the smirk.

– “It's not like I'm putting his life in jeopardy.”

– “Listen to me, Chris... When Ryan came to this place, he had nowhere to go. He wasn't lost. He was desperate. We took advantage, back then. It was a rotten thing to do, but that's the way we do business. You know how it goes, but remember. Ryan does desperate things, sometimes.”

There was a moment of silence. Chris got up from the couch.

– “Okay... I can't leave such a rampant beast unattended, with so many paying guests and innocent bystanders at the hotel.”

– “Of course not. He might get shot.”

As he was about to leave, Chris turned to take a good look at the mountain of tartlets and pastries on the table before Austin.

– “How are you going to eat so many of these?”

– “Easy... One at a time.”

■ ■ ■

Saturday morning — in the Royal Suite, at the Pleasure Dome

The room was bathed in early morning sunlight, making Ryan’s blond hair glow like streams of pure gold over his silky white pillow.

Chris knew he would have to wake up, go down to the kitchen and start cooking up a storm again, but it felt so peaceful and so comforting to stay in bed with such a soft, oversized cuddly bear, he didn't want to let him go, when he saw Ryan open his eyes.

– “Please, go back to sleep.”

– “I have to go to work.”

– “Stay with me for a minute...”

– “You don't want breakfast to be served too late.”

– “I don't want to be late for breakfast. It's not the same.”

Ryan tried to get out of bed. Chris would fight playfully with him.

– “You have plenty of time.”

– “I really don't. Once your friends start gathering for breakfast...”

– “Stay in bed with me for a moment. I'll tell you a secret...”

– “A secret?”

The blond jock smiled, tilting his head to the side as he pinned his friend down in bed and he covered his smooth chest with kisses.

– “You are such a secretive guy, Chris... Oh! the secrets you could tell... but that's just the thing. You don't tell. You kiss like a pro, but you don't kiss and tell.”

– “I swear, Ryan. I'll tell you.”

– “Something I don't know? But there's so much I don't know... It would take us all day.”

– “No, I'm serious.”

Chris responded to Ryan's delightful teasing with more than words.

– “Do I get to guess? Like, three guesses?”

– “Okay, give it a try.”

– “And here I was thinking that you were about to tell me the truth about this party, how you were still holding a grudge against your friends because you couldn't be both King and Queen of the Prom?”

Chris chuckled at the thought. Ryan could be such a tease.

– “Well, there's that... I guess I wanted Prom Night to mark the first day of a lifelong, undisputed reign.”

– “Please...” Ryan growled, with a smile and another kiss. “You wanted every day to be your Coronation Day.”

– “You only have two guesses left.”

– “Only you get to make me feel all the way like the spoiled brat I am... and you make it feel so right.”

– “Okay, what's this big secret?”

– “You remember my last trip to New York City.”

– “God! that company kept dunning me for months, back then...”

– “Until you couldn't stay for another day in the United States.”

Ryan nodded, looking down in shame.

– “They had collected all your debts, like the loan sharks they were.”

– “That was their line of business. Collecting debts like you would collect stamps, harassing guys like me until we commit suicide or something...”

– “That's what I wanted to tell you. I've paid your debts, in full.”

– “You have?”

– “Well... Thank you, I guess?”

– “You're welcome. We couldn't do business at the Pleasure Dome, with that dark cloud following you everywhere.”

– “Wait a minute... This means that I'm in your debt now, right? Is that what you've done? Chris... You think you own me?”

– “Oh! well, that's one way to look at it.”

– “Okay, then...” Ryan growled. “Own this.”

And he almost pounced on his friend, like a tiger in the jungle.

■ ■ ■

Saturday morning — in the coffee corner, by the dining hall

Lou and Guy were looking for a quiet place to have coffee. Their guests were also loud in the way they ate breakfast.

– “Have you seen Ryan?”

– “In the kitchen. He's busy.”

– “Did you get to talk to him?”

– “Not much...”

– “The usual?”

– “He's always so soft spoken, it's better when he doesn't talk.”

They saw Chris sitting on a couch, in the corner. It was the perfect, most quiet spot, and they knew it. He was holding a mug of coffee in his hand, and it looked like he was resting his eyes in the soft morning light.

– “Hello, Chris?”

– “Hey, guys. How are you doing?”

– “Oh! we're good. It looks like, I don't know... you meditate?”

– “We made it eight times, last night...”

Chris let out a deep, contented and exhausted sigh.

Lou and Guy held back a chuckle. Their friend didn't usually share that kind of details. Of course, it was no longer a secret that Chris and Ryan's nights in the Royal Suite were rowdier and raunchier than a rodeo with a sweaty, slippery thousand pound bull under a scorching Texan sun...

Austin would be proud of his cousin.

With the wind and the rain outside, on the grounds of the Pleasure Dome, the guests spent most of their time around the various buffets or at the bar.

– “Perfect weather for an indoors bachelorette party...”

Diana chuckled at the thought.

– “You and your bitch... (cough) butch... (cough) bachelor parties.”

Anita, Joe and Ashley only shrugged, holding their cocktails.

– “No regrets for the lack of fireworks over the garden, tonight.”

– “Please! we already have to deal with Chris and his firecracker fiancé.”

– “Quite a cracker on fire, I'll give him that...”

The women were a bit tipsy after their fourth mimosas in the morning.

– “How about your husband, Diana? He couldn't come to the party.”

– “My husband could hardly get me to come...” Brenda slurred.

– “To each her own.” Anita concluded.

– “But your hudband is a big producer in Hollywood, right?”

– “Oh! he's just an ex... (cough) hex... (cough) sex... (cough) executive producer.”

– “Oh... Then he should find some time for you.”

– “As if our balls in chains could do more than follow when we stir...”

– “That's hump... (cough) umph... (cough) unfortunate.”

– “Anita's right. We should have organized a reunion earlier.”

– “When? We were all busy, with tight schedules in different time zones.”

– “It's a minor miracle that Chris pulled this one off.”

– “Oh! don't we know how good he is at pulling it off...”

– “And putting out.” Anita took another long sip of mimosa.

– “So rash... (cough) roach... (cough) rational.”

Her friends didn't insist.

■ ■ ■

Saturday night — in Hawk's bedroom, by the lighthouse

Austin couldn't be more stuffed. He had eaten so much that all the boxes sent to Hawk's place were now empty, crumpled and lying in a tall heap by the fireplace.

– “How are you doing, big guy?”

– “Another day with that inspector. Just more time wasted.”

– “You're doing fine... He has nothing on you.”

– “He doesn't even have a thing against me.”

– “Good. Then this case won't stand.”

– “And how are you doing, big boy?”

– “Another day with boxes of food. Just more inches to my waist.”

– “You're doing fine...” Hawk hugged him and kissed him.

– “How's everyone doing?”

– “Oh! The whole hotel is buzzing like a hive.”

– “I see. As long as they don't break into hives...”

Hawk nodded, with an appreciative growl.

– “Between you and me, I find it really tough for your friend Ryan.”

– “I bet he's busy like a bee...”

– “With your cousin acting as Queen B? Give the poor guy a break!”

– “What's wrong? Did he say something to you?”

– “Ryan, saying something? To me?”

Austin smiled, and nestled on top of his boyfriend's furry chest.

– “Something must be really off. You've never cared for Ryan.”

– “Well...” Hawk groaned. “This is different.”

– “Different, how? Is this because he's lost a little weight?”

– “He's lost a lot of weight!”

– “Oh... I get it. You like it better when he's big, round and burping.”

– “I could do without those... We get to know where he is, at least.”

– “So what, you can tell him to get lost?”

Hawk rolled over, and started massaging his fat boyfriend's belly.

– “This team needs more beef on the field...”

– “What's your job now, football coach?”

– “I mean it.”

– “I know you do. Ryan will be fine.”

– “So... You actually believe that your skinny cousin and your beefcake best friend were meant for each other?”

– “Then it was only natural for them to get married?” Austin chuckled. “I know... Way to go through thick and thin!”

He stretched out his arms, on the bed cover.

– “Am I getting too fat?”

– “Of course not! You're just getting fatter.”

– “And fatter...”

– “Isn't that precisely what you want?”

– “Oh! it is. I was just wondering.”

– “Are you concerned with the way I feel about your weight gain?”

– “You would tell me if you didn't find it attractive anymore.”

– “How could I no longer find you attractive, big boy?” Hawk rubbed his boyfriend's belly. “This isn't just weight you've been packing on. It's part of who you are. It's one more reason why I love you so much.”

– “Well... Thanks.” Austin kissed him back.

– “The only kind of weight you should be able to pack on and off at any time is in a backpack...” Hawk rubbed and squeezed his belly again. “You don't carry this sexy weight on your back.”

– “Of course not. I let Ryan and you carry my snacks in your backpacks.”

– “That's right.”

– “Then I can eat my fill. I can pack on a lot more weight...”

– “And you can totally pull it off. It looks so good on you.”

– “I know I haven't reached my limit yet...”

– “Good to know.”

– “I'm glad that I haven't reached your limit either.”

– “Please... When you grow fat like a pig, the sty is the limit.”

■ ■ ■

Sunday evening — in the dining hall

Ryan looked stunningly handsome, in his tux.

Chris had asked Michel to consider his friend's measurements and cut a very tight suit for him. Just as expected, the blond jock had lost a few more pounds. He looked beefy, athletic and only slightly overweight... He also looked lost, as if he had stolen his clothes, tie and shoes, as well as his invitation to the party.

– “We look like we're going to attend someone's funeral...”

– “Come on, Ryan. This looks good. It's a very stylish shade of Black.”

– “I didn't even know that there could be shades of black.”

– “It's shiny, with subtles overtones of dark green and silky blue.”

– “Oh? Now that you mention it, under the right angle of light...”

– “It's meant to match your eyes, silly.”

– “Is that why you chose this fabric, at Armando's?”

– “Of course. Besides, let's be honest, neither of us could get married in white... We couldn't get half way to the altar. All our guests would be laughing so hard, they would choke to death.”

– “That would be some funeral for us to attend...”

It was the gala night for their guests, at the Pleasure Dome. This would be the first and last occasion for Ryan to sit next to Chris, in the dining hall. Chris wished that he wouldn't feel so uncomfortable.

His friends didn't help at all. Every now and then, Ryan felt the urge to get up and help Guy who had to wait all the tables alone. He did his best to behave, but he couldn't just stay seated after the first courses. Since he was only eating vegetables, he felt like he wouldn't be missed at their table. He went to see Lou, at the bar.

– “Don't tell me you want a drink.”

– “That would be the best way to make everything worse...”

– “You're doing fine.”

– “Why do I feel like I keep doing everything wrong, then?”

– “Maybe the right way for you to fit in would be to stop trying so hard?”

– “Is that a zen koan, or something? I just don't belong in that group.”

– “Then just find your place among them. Think about this... The moon looks at its best after a sunny day, surrounded with well-shaped clouds. And any child knows that the moon is not a cloud.”

Ryan leaned forward and kissed Lou on the forehead.

– “You're such a wise and comforting friend. Thank you.”

– “Anytime, Ryan. You're welcome.”

Lou watched his friend get back to his marked seat at the table. He had to agree with him. Chris was a fine young man, but his friends wouldn't be missed, once this whole week was over.

It was too easy to claim that they were “sophisticated”. Rich as they may appear, Lou had come to the conclusion that they had no taste. After they had hosted smaller but rather similar parties and feasts, with all kinds of guests, he could only observe that these wealthy men and women ate like pigs, just the same as a group of truckers or a team of hockey players would.

There was no reason to treat anyone with less respect than others.

Even so, his friend stood out like a sore thumb. Or just the opposite.

Ryan was just more genuine, more grounded — laid-back and down to earth for sure, the kind of man who woke up in the morning, wound his hair back in a knot and didn’t think about it for the rest of the day... His face and body radiated some sort of light, peaceful, positive energy that was almost soothing for anyone sitting at their table.

Bryan should never have mentioned Shakespeare. Grace kept telling her friends about all her dissertations, how successful she was and how many prizes she had won for her high-quality research.

– “As Macbeth says, in Shakespeare's masterpiece Macbeth, a man who can compass me may say he has put a girdle around the world.”

Everyone around her laughed — Chris was sick and tired of that fake laugh, which brought back memories he wasn't particularly fond of. And he wasn't alone.

– “That's not Shakespeare...”

All eyes turned to Ryan, who had just snapped.

– “What are you doing?” Chris whispered between his teeth.

– “What do you mean, this isn't Shakespeare?” Anita jeered.

– “It's not.”

– “How can you be so certain about it?” Bryan also sneered.

– “Because that's from Webster's Duchess of Malfi.”

He than can compass me, and know my drifts,

may say he hath put a girdle 'bout the world

and sounded all her quicksands...

Everyone sitting at their table shared a puzzled look.

– “Who's the duchess of Malfi?”

– “It's a tragedy, of course.” Ryan shrugged. “The duke Ferdinand says those lines when he plans to have his sister murdered, because she's secretly married to another man and he's secretly in love with her.”

– “Oh... How dreadful!”

– “It's a Jacobean tragedy. There's beauty in the horrors of it.”

Grace looked like an ostrich about to choke, after she had gobbled an apple too big for her gullet. All eyes were on her now.

– “I didn't expect you to be such an expert on this subject.”

– “I'm not... Then, maybe you were thinking about Puck?”

– “Puck?”

– “Are you playing hockey, now?”

For the first time, Ryan stood up in front of everyone.

I'll put a girdle round about the earth

in forty minutes...

– “That's right!” Sue Ann nodded. “I remember this. I saw a production of the play at my nephew's school, a few months ago.”

– “How do you know Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream?”

– “I learned parts of it, when I was in Kuwait.”

– “What were you doing in Kuwait?”

– “I was in the Army. We were deployed there.”

– “Huh... Wait, what?”

– “A few of us were picked to play a few scenes. That was one of them.”

– “And that's how you learned to play Puck, then?”

– “No.” Ryan's smile was too charming to resist. “I played Oberon.”

– “Who's that?”

– “Just Oberon. King of the fairies...”

Chris rolled his eyes, looking away from the table.

“Leave it to Ryan... King of the fairies, in a military camp in the desert.”

Lou came to their table, like a waiter, with a platter in his hand.

– “It will time for desserts, soon. How about we all take a moment to dance and get a breath of fresh air?”

The idea seemed to appeal to his blond friend.

– “Chris, would you dance with me?”

– “Ryan.. What are you doing?”

– “He's right!” Anita clapped her hands. “You two dance for us.”

– “We would dance together, not for you guys...”

– “Can't you do both?”

– “You know Chris doesn't dance for anyone.” Bryan scoffed.

– “Not even for your husband?”

Ryan was still the only one standing, with his hand stretched out — all the guests around him turned to Chris, now.

– “Please? Don't keep me hanging.”

– “How about this? You dance for us all, than Anita and I will.”

– “I'm with Chris on this one. I don't feel like dancing.”

– “Oh! now you don't mind if I don't dance either.”

– “I don't care if your friends laugh at us.” Ryan looked serious. “They've already had quite a good laugh. I'm only asking for this dance.”

– “Okay! I'll do it if you take your shirt off, first.”

– “Deal. If you do the same.”

Chris shared a sparkling look with Ryan, and an impish smile.

– “Huh... Boys?” Sue Ann asked, ready for a tall drink from Lou.

It was too late for anyone to stop them... With a friendly bartender's smile, Lou presented Chris and Ryan with two glasses, tequila, salt and lime. They didn't look so confident around this.

– “I thought you guys may need some fuel for this ride.”

– “You know I can't hold my liquor...”

– “Come on, Ryan. One shot never killed anyone.”

– “Oh! I hope you never get shot, Lou.”

With a smile and a wink, Ryan held Chris by his wrist, like the back of his hand like a wild animal in heat, and put a pinch of salt. Chris did the same for him, and they crossed armed arms as they downed their shots and bit into the lime.

Guy started the music, and operated the lights on the dance floor. What followed would have brought any dirty dancing instructor to tears.

Chris and Ryan were moving quickly and in a total abandon, knowing that their partner would catch them if they were about to fall — rocking their hips from side to side, as if they were moving one large hula hoop together, grinding so closely and following the rhythm of the music with their backs arched or bending over, swinging their butts down the floor as they swayed... Chris felt Ryan's hands on his hips at all the right moments, in his slow and sensual manner, his beefy and athletic body rising and falling against his lap while they kept wiggling their hips.

Only a few seconds before the end of that first song, Ryan held Chris against his chest. He lifted him in the air and kissed him so passionately, still turning around in such a glory of flashlights and beads of sweat, that the music didn't seem to fade away...

Chris couldn't care less that all his friends were staring at them.

– “Good luck trying to put a girdle on this bear!”

– “Or a muzzle...”

– “Yeah... Or a ring.” Anita thought out loud.

■ ■ ■

Sunday late at night — in the cold rooms, by the kitchen

The party was almost over. It looked like it was a success, after all the ups and downs of such a sparkling week at the Pleasure Dome... Chris told his friends about a surprise dessert that should be ready for them, to be served by the swimming pool outside. Ryan put on his apron again.

– “Is everything okay?”

– “What do you mean?”

– “You've been looking at me like I have lipstick on my teeth...”

– “No, you're fine.”

Ryan had to get the four five-tiered cakes in the cold room.

As he was about to go to the kitchen, Chris grabbed his hand and made him turn to kiss him on the lips. It was a more passionate kiss than the blond jock expected — and in front of his friends, too.

It brought sparkles to Ryan's eyes.

– “I wanted your lips to stay warm...” Chris whispered to him.

The kitchen was silent. Ryan knew what he had to do. As he was about to open the door to the coldest of their cold rooms, where they stored ice-cream, he heard the kitchen door creak behind him.

– “Guy? Are you looking for something?”

The answer came in a strange, raspy voice.

– “Not just any guy. Looking for you.”

Ryan turned around. It was Bryan.

– “Oh... Bryan, what are you doing here in the cold?”

In the harsh light of the room, he could tell that the man before him was not in his normal state — flaring nostrils, dilated pupils, breathing heavily and almost drooling... Ryan knew those signs only too well.

Maybe he had guessed more correctly than Chris thought, that Bryan was addicted to cocaine or something, like most traders in Wall Street. Now was not the time to ask.

– “You filthy white trash fuck...”

– “Okay, gloves off... I get it.”

Ryan was now backed against the door to the cold room. He saw Bryan play with his belt buckle, then take a big frying pan from the hanger.

– “You and Chris have been poncing around all week...”

– “We've all been coming and going around the hotel.”

– “I can't imagine what Chris sees in you, besides all this meat.”

Ryan held his breath. The guy held that pan like a caveman's club.

– “Now I'm curious. I want to see.”

– “This is the cold room... You'll be disappointed.”

There was no use trying to make a joke.

– “Shut up, you dumb slut!”

In a matter of seconds, he hit Ryan on the head, pushed him against the door of the cold storage room and tigthened leather belt around the helpless blond jock's wrists to bind him to the strong door's handle.

– “You do as I say...”

– “What do you want now?”

Ryan's heart was racing. That blow had not knocked him out.

– “I want everyone to see what a slut you are.”

– “You don't think I was convincing enough, on that dance floor?”

– “Shut up!”

– “You don't want your friends to see us like this.”

– “Right... You'll put on a show, just for me.”

– “What you say doesn't make a lick of sense...”

– “I've told you to shut up! I'll lick you all right.”

– “Huh...” Ryan caught his breath. “How exactly?”

Then he saw that Bryan was ready to pull more than his pants down.

– “Okay, last and only chance. Don't do this...”

– “You shut your mouth.”

Bryan punched him in the gut, almost as a nervous reflex.

“And I'm the dirty one with a dirty mouth.” Ryan tought, as he coughed.

This wasn't over, but he looked up and straight into Bryan's eyes.

– “You really shouldn't have punched me like this.”

– “Huh?”

Ryan took a deep breath, and let out a long, loud and booming one.

– “BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP...”

The glasses on the stainless steel furniture vibrated in unison, moved a bit and sometimes clanked in the air.

The kitchen door was opened again. Guy had heard his friend. He was followed, not only by Chris and Anita, but maybe twenty guests from the party outside who gathered to find Bryan — on his knees, with murder in his eyes and both hands firmly on the waistband of Ryan's pants.

– “Anita?”

– “Bryan!”

The room was crowded, and buzzing with shocked murmurs. Shirtless again, but against his will, Ryan looked confused, as if someone had just shouted the name “Anita Bryant”, which was enough to make him recoil in disgust.

■ ■ ■

Sunday late into the night — on the terrace, by moonlight

There was a general uproar in the hotel... Most of the guests claimed that they would leave the Pleasure Dome, first thing in the morning. Lou managed to calm everyone down. He only asked Guy to join Ryan in the kitchen, and work on a real feast for breakfast. It should put their guests in a good mood.

After a moment spent in the main hall, Chris found Anita standing on the terrace — looking over the lawn, the hills and the woods around their hotel... She waved and smiled when she saw him approaching. He knew that smile.

– “Is this what you wanted, Chris? From the moment you told everyone about our reunion and you sent out those invitations?”

– “What do you mean?”

– “It would be a classic move. One hundred percent Chris Kindell.”

– “I didn't push your fiancé into my own husband's arms.”

– “Please... We both know what you did.”

– “So you knew? I mean... from the moment you came to this place?”

– “Not exactly. Let's say, I had a hunch.”

Chris came closer to her, and he lowered his voice.

– “So... You knew, about Bryan?”

– “Of course, I knew. You two had a thing, back in high school. So very hush hush, on and off... Nothing serious, just like you and I had a thing, around the same time. I'm not blind, Chris. And I didn't go deaf or dumb after graduation.”

– “Then you expected this?”

– “I was curious...”

– “Okay... Then, so is Bryan.”

Anita couldn't help laughing, but she kept her serious composure.

– “We're still getting married.”

– “After this.”

– “I didn't wait for tonight to find out, so...”

– “Everyone else did.”

– “And it can't be undone. That ship has sailed... You could say the same about our wedding engagement. It's too late to call everything off.”

Chris didn't know how to respond. She turned to face him.

– “How about you?”

– “What about me?”

– “I mean... You and this guy, Ryan. Is he for real?”

– “Oh! he's real, all right. And corporeal...”

– “Everyone kept implying that you had only hired the most impressive male hustler money could buy in the Northern Hemisphere. Not me.”

– “You saw right through him.”

– “I saw right through your act. I don't have X-ray vision...”

– “That's too bad but, still... Good for you.”

– “Oh, well... I couldn't imagine an escort with such cooking skills.”

– “Or such appetite!” Chris chuckled.

Anita looked up, as the clouds cleared away from the moon.

– “And his name is actually Ryan?”

– “Of course, it is.”

– “How convenient... You really laid out quite a trap.”

– “Just a coincidence. You're giving me way too much credit.”

– “I bet it did make a difference... Bryan could never be “Ryan with a B” for you. He couldn't be Ryan. Then he had to have him.”

– “When you put it like this...”

– “Sordid, I know. And you know how a sleazy man's mind works.”

Chris felt outsmarted by his friend — which was quite unusual for him.

– “Now that it's all said and done... I know you meant well.” She took a deep breath. “Then I'll do you a favor. One good turn deserves another.”

– “Okay.”

– “You know how I always claim to be a princess.”

– “Of course. We all do.”

– “That's right.” Anita laughed out loud. “You're the real princess here.”

– “I can't help it. I'm precious.” Chris smiled back at her.

– “Then you know it's all fake. It's just a fairytale... And Disney owns the rights to these realms and crowns, anyway.”

– “I know.” Chris sighed. “And what Walt wants won't wait...”

Anita took her friend's hand.

– “Your friend Ryan? He's the real deal.”

– “Of course, he's for real. I've just told you.”

– “Chris, I've met royalty. Old world, New world, you name it. They're all gilded puppets in tight dresses and uniforms... When I take one look at Ryan, even as he takes off a sweaty T-shirt, I know he's a prince.”

– “Oh! well...”

– “Is he really that poor?”

– “Not a dime to his name.”

– “Wow!” Anita whispered with a smile. “He's that kind of prince.”

– “Yes... I guess we put on quite a show, in the bedroom.”

– “Of course, we expected no less from you, Chris. Only when I saw how he looked at you, I knew that it wasn't an act on your part.”

– “Honestly? Ryan can play, but he couldn't lie to save his life.”

– “What if it was to save your life?” She winked at her friend.

– “What's so special about the way Ryan looks at me?”

There was a moment of silence. Anita almost bit her lips.

– “I think you should check how he's doing... I will deal with Bryan, but you have to do the same with your husband.”

– “I will.”

– “He didn't know what would happen, right?”

– “How could he? I didn't tell anyone...”

– “Just as I thought. You've put your hands on some real treasure... You should be more careful around him. The way I see it now, your husband is worth more than his weight in gold.”

– “Okay, that's... a lot of gold.”

Chris smiled, but he felt the sting in his heart... It wasn't the first time that someone had compared Ryan with a massive lump of pure gold — and he didn't like it, considering how painful those memories were for his friend. He didn't feel like telling Anita about it.

■ ■ ■

Monday morning — in Hawk's office, by the lighthouse

Hawk and Austin had clearly had it with inspector Badgett.

– “That's it! This investigation is over.”

– “I'm the inspector here. I get to decide when this is over.”

– “Seriously, Badgett? My patience is wearing thin!”

– “And Hawk can't wear anything thin...” Austin commented.

– “Please! Everyone calm down...”

Inspector Badgett had to wait for Hawk to sit down.

– “I'm only trying to do my job.”

– “Harassing public servants? That was your job description?”

– “I'm a public servant too.”

– “Not with mayor Cochrane in charge, you're not.” Austin snapped. “The guy thinks he was elected to act like a CEO around here. I'm the CEO at the Pleasure Dome, or so it says on my desk... I'm not a tyrant.”

– “I don't see the connection...”

– “There is no connection. Mayor Cochrane is disconnected from reality!”

– “And whatever you and your colleagues were hired to do, your not-so-secret Police have mostly been shitting way too close to the fan.”

– “There may have been... a few mistakes.” The inspector mumbled.

– “You've arrested a six year old kid, just because his parents weren't there for him after school! It made front page news yesterday.”

– “He was wandering in the streets, unsupervised...”

– “So you've turned the slammer into kindergarden, just like that?”

– “Not exactly...”

– “We know that the mayor's office in Pleasance is the perfect place for a bumbling, babbling toddler who keeps throwing a tantrum.”

– “But we did arrest a drug dealer on Main street, this morning.”

– “How?”

– “He tried to make a sell to an agent undercover.”

– “Congratulations!” Austin sneered. “That's some detective work...”

– “Are you telling me that you succeeded in making one good omelet, as you were breaking like a hundred eggs? What do you want for this kind of achievement, a medal?”

– “I don't know...”

Backed in a corner, the inspector was tired of arguing with them.

– “Think about this: “Another letter attacking the mayor's reputation was registered last night, but the administration has rebuked its allegations, putting an end to this blackmail in the afternoon, after mayor Cochrane's name was dragged in the mud for a few days”. This is the kind of absurd statement you read in the Press now.”

– “Okay, okay... How about this? I'll get the mayor's office to drop the charges, first thing tomorrow morning.”

– “Will you have to drop your pants to get them to do so?”

– “Hopefully not. Then the question remains that this place, this Pleasure Dome or whatever, was meant to be operated as a shelter for teenagers on a social rehabilitation program, not just a hotel resort. That was also in the Press.”

Austin and Hawk threw a sideways glance at each other.

– “That's true... We did say so to the Press.”

– “I only saw guests coming and going to the Pleasure Dome. When did you say you would open this shelter?”

– “We've been thinking about it. We've talked about it. A lot.”

Hawk could also mumble some scathing comments through his teeth.

– “Aren't we all comfortable with the framework of a concept of a plan...”

Austin could play it cagey. On second thought, this would be their way out, and Hawk may no longer have an investigator on his back.

– “We'll be able to provide shelter and jobs to six teenagers by the end of the month. We're only waiting for the green light from the local social services, and an agreement with our good friend doctor Tietsen-Nippels.”

– “Oh...” The inspector listened to this, wide-eyed. “Then it's settled?”

– “It should be.”

– “What took you so long?”

– “We've been... let's say “distracted”? I wonder how I couldn't push this project forward, when my boyfriend was being pushed to the edge, and I was here all the time for moral support. Such a loss of precious time and resources... No need to give you three guesses, who kept me away from my desk?”

– “I guess not.” Hawk concluded. “Good bye, inspector.”

– “Wait, I'm not quite...”

– “Be quiet, then.”

Hawk was already pushing him toward the door.

– “Good bye, inspector Budget.”

– “It's... Badgett, sir.”

– “Oh! sure, as if you weren't on a budget here...”

■ ■ ■

Tuesday evening — in the kitchen

Everything was quiet again, at the Pleasure Dome. The main hall, the lobby, the dining hall, the coffee corner and the bar, the gym and spa, the terrace around the swimming pool — the whole place looked empty and clean like a doll house.

All the guests were gone. Lou was quite sure that each man had left at least ten pounds fatter, after that very busy week.

Chris joined Ryan in the kitchen.

The blond young man had spent the previous nights in his bedroom, on ground floor, alone... Chris had no intention to bother him, but there was a note on the bedpost in his suite, when he woke up.

When he stepped into the room, he saw Ryan washing dirty dishes in the sink. On the kitchen counter, in a neatly folded napkin, there was his engagement ring... Chris pulled his own ring off, and put it with Ryan's. They looked like the promise of something he didn't deserve, right now.

Even with his back turned to him, Ryan had heard him enter.

Chris hugged him from behind. The blond cook slowly turned around, and kissed him so softly, he felt his heart melt like hot chocolate inside one of Ryan's signature cupcakes.

He pointed at the rings, and whispered to him.

– “These are disposeable... You're not. You could never be replaced.”

Ryan hugged him so tenderly, he felt like a teddy bear out of the dryer.

– “We need to talk.” He simply stated, inviting him to sit down.

Chris was genuinely impressed. They had both gone out of their way to avoid this kind of “grown-up” conversation. On the other hand, Ryan was the most serious man in the world, when it came to pleasing his partner, making him so happy as possible and keeping him on that blissful cloud.

– “I thought, maybe you would want them back.”

– “You know what, Ryan? I still have your dog tags. You keep the rings... Let them be a reminder of this week, when you've treated me the best and I've treated you the worst.”

– “Is that how you feel, Chris?”

– “I am so sorry for what happened to you, there.”

– “Because you knew it would happen.”

That comment from Ryan, always so soft spoken, startled his friend.

– “What...”

– “You knew Bryan would come after me like that.”

– “I did.” Chris whispered, feeling a dry lump in his throat.

– “Tell me you didn't send him to the cold rooms.”

– “I didn't, I swear...”

– “I believe you. Did you see him going to the kitchen?”

– “No, I was with Anita and her friends... After a while, I started looking around, and I asked everyone “Where is Bryan? Where did he go?” They didn't care. Anita didn't care. I managed to get everyone to come closer to the kitchen, so we heard you.”

– “I thought so. It didn't feel right... You were waiting for this.”

Chris nodded. It looked like he was about to cry... Ryan held him in his tight and soft embrace, then he started rocking him gently, against his chest. They were slowly dancing in circles, whispering to each other.

– “What happens to him, now? To Anita and him?”

– “They're still getting married. I couldn't change her mind.”

– “That's what you wanted to do, when you heard about it.”

– “Wait, Ryan... Did you know about all this, from the start?”

– “Of course not. Then I met your friends...”

– “Did Austin tell you about them?”

– “I figured it out. There was something in the way he looked at you.”

– “Okay... Then you understand what we did, there.”

– “I'm not sure... The way I see it, you've provided her with the kind of ammunition most wives wish they had at their disposal, pretty early on in a marriage with a weak, toxic and sometimes violent husband.”

– “Exactly... With so many people ready to take the stand as witnesses, if it comes to a judge for their divorce, she will get everything.”

– “And you couldn't tell me, because I couldn't keep a straight face.”

– “No one in his right mind would want you to look straight...”

– “I understand.”

– “And you're the strongest, least toxic and most protective man anyone could want for a partner.”

They kept dancing on the kitchen floor, like a boy and his teddy bear.

Chris felt the urge to kiss him so hard they would fall in a huddle.

– “My whole life has always been a vanity project... We've talked about this, you and me. Fireworks all the way? I had to come to the Pleasure Dome and meet you to get to understand how empty I felt.”

– “Didn't the name “vanity” give you a hint?”

– “I guess I couldn't take that hint.” Chris shrugged. “If you keep looking into the void, you can't be looking for anything. There's nothing in there but darkness, nothing to be seen...”

– “And we all end up looking for something.”

– “Like a way out?”

– “Something like that.”

– “Then coming to this place was my way out. I wouldn't go back to my previous life, if I was given the opportunity. This is my home... What we do at the Pleasure Dome is just the opposite of a vanity project. I would never feel empty here.”

– “I agree.” Ryan smiled. “The Pleasure Dome is definitely the best place in the world to feel... full!”

– “Of course!” Chris rubbed his hot boyfriend's belly. “You must feel full, with all that food to fill your tummy. I just feel fulfilled.”

Ryan kissed him, so passionately that it felt like every oven had been opened at the same time, letting whole clouds of steam fill the room.

– “Did we do a good thing for your friend Anita, or did we just crush her illusions about her marriage, and her husband?”

– “Whatever we did, she gets to decide.”

– “The Law should help women get out of a bad marriage.”

– “Just as the Law should allow gay men to get married?”

– “You're right. Forget about the Law. Anita needed your help.”

– “She needed our help.”

Chris kissed his friend on the cheek, then on the mouth again.

– “So it's a good thing that they've come to the Pleasure Dome.”

– “We may not be the most professional wedding planners, but...”

– “It's always for “better or worse”. They should know, by now.”

Ryan said something that sounded like a poem.

Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust,

like diamonds, we are cut with our own dust.

– “Is that Shakespeare?”

– “Nope... Still Webster. Still The Duchess of Malfi.”

They slowly stopped dancing, in perfect silence. Ryan whispered again.

– “Please... Spend the night with me, tonight.”

Chris wouldn't stop hugging him for all the gold in the world.

– “Ryan, you are one uncut diamond... the size of a mighty big bear.”

■ ■ ■

Friday early morning — in the greenhouse

Guy switched the lights on... He was ready to sprinkle more water over his precious seedlings of Cryptophyta Pachyntika Megalophagia. He kept almost a dozen healthy plants growing steadily under his care now, with appetizing large green leaves.

– “Looking good tonight...” He commented, almost talking to them.

Focused as he was on the task at hand, Guy heard someone walking from the other entrance to the greenhouse, coming from the garden outside. It was the distinct sound of slow, quiet and ponderous steps.

– “...Ryan?”

– “Think again, bright boy.”

Guy turned around. He knew that voice.

– “Hey! Good to see you so devoted to your studies...” A big, tall bear with a perfect, natural tan, a pair of shades and a really tight T-shirt waved at him.

– “Oh... Diego?”

The young man looked at his mentor in wide-eyed shock.

– “What's wrong? You didn't expect to see me so soon?”

– “I didn't expect to see... so much of you.”

– “Oh? I see...”

Guy was already blushing and wishing he had not said that.

– “I guess I've done a bit more “research” than I had planned.”

– “Is this “research”? It looks like you've gained 40 pounds...”

– “Please! I bet I've packed on more than 50 pounds.”

– “But... Huh...” Guy couldn't stop staring, just as he couldn't put a sentence together. “You've only been away for a month.”

Diego thumped his belly with both hands.

– “I know. It was always snowing outside, and I thought it would help me stand the cold. It did but, once I had tasted a few Koast candy bars, I couldn't stop... Same thing for the meatball sandwiches we spiced up for Ryan, and that special cottage chese, and... You get the picture.”

– “I do.”

Guy couldn't help thinking about the “bigger picture”, there.

– “I didn't even see it coming, I started ballooning right away.”

– “Just like Ryan?”

– “Oh! I think Ryan deserves some real credit for staying to strong and reasonably firm, considering how much food we forced him to eat.”

– “I guess...”

– “And it's delicious! I couldn't help adding some Koast to every snack, and every meal, like some sort of spice. I even considered the possibility that it may be addictive.”

– “And... is it?”

– “I don't think so. Would you say Ryan's been in withdrawal?”

– “Definitely not! He's lost some weight, and we've all been a bit tough on him, but... In a way, he still had a lot on his plate.”

– “How so?”

– “Long story short... He got married, and he didn't get married.”

– “I see.”

Diego looked around.

– “It's almost 5AM. Shouldn't he be up and ready to go work out?”

A deep, soft and masculine voice answered him.

– “Just waiting for you, coach. Can you blame me?”

– “Ryan! Hey...”

The two men hugged. The blond jock was shirtless again.

– “Wow! You have lost way too much weight...”

– “About as much weight as you've gained.”

Diego's mischievous smile was a perfect match for Ryan's.

– “Okay, let's find out.”

Guy was secretly delighted to act as referee there.

Ryan had lost weight. Standing on the scales before breakfast, he only weighed 256lbs... Diego's reaction was genuine. He was shocked. On the other hand, the big bear had gained no less than 52lbs — which meant that one man's gain was another man's loss.

– “Huh... Precisely the same amount of weight.”

– “It almost feels like poetic justice.”

– “No! There's nothing “just” about this. It's not fair.” Diego wouldn't let Ryan grow any thinner. “You and I have to do something about it.”

– “I'm ready, coach. Let's hit the gym.”

Diego noticed the bottle in Ryan's hand.

– “Wait, you can't just bring tea to the gym!”

– “He wouldn't bring a T-shirt to the gym...” Guy muttered with a smile.

– “I'm serious, Ryan. You need real full in your tank.”

– “Something with an octane rating?”

– “Something like that. You two start training, I'll bring your breakfast!”

Ryan and Guy spent the next ten minutes warming up, then they went for their usual total body training, with goblet squats, dumbbell flyes and rows, seated cable rows, triceps extensions, lateral raises, then elevated push ups... Guy was there to make sure that his “big bear brother” was pushed to his limits under brutal, almost extreme conditions.

Naturally tall and strong as he may be, Diego wasn't the athletic type. He wouldn never go for such an intense series of physically demanding exercises. Then, of course, he could grow a much larger ball belly than Ryan, in a matter of weeks, with his special Koast compound...

The blond beefcake was panting, growling and sweating profusely, as they concluded their workout session with bear crawls, which were good for his joints as Ryan went smoothly, at a moderate pace — until the two young men fell on the mats, lying on their backs to catch their breaths.

Guy reached out and gently grabbed one of Ryan's paws.

– “That was a great session, Ryan... Are you okay?”

– “I'm okay. You're doing a great job.”

They didn't move for a moment. Guy could feel it in his friend's palm, in his slow and steady pulse, even in the silence of his deep breaths...

Ryan was in real pain, for some reason. He had spent the entire week under a lot of stress, but Guy agreed with Lou — no one blamed him for what had happened during their last party night, with all their guests.

On second thought, it was a testimony to this blond jock's resilience that he had only lost fifty pounds, under such circumstances. And it was amazing to consider how his friends had grown just a little bit fatter, at the same time. Maybe Ryan deserved some praise for his generosity, his cooking skills and his unwavering determination in the face of adversity.

Guy was really tempted to roll over and give his “big bear brother” a hug — he knew Ryan wouldn't mind.

– “Wake up, sleepy heads!” Diego called. “Time to feed the bears...”

Ryan slowly moved to the side, got up and helped Guy stand up.

– “What's for breakfast, then?”

– “Follow me to the kitchen. You'll see.”

– “Okay...”

– “And please! at least, pretend that you're hungry.”

– “I'm hungry.”

Guy couldn't help laughing. Ryan was such a terrible liar.

– “Oh! well... Hungry or not, you're going to eat your fill.”

In a big salad bowl, he had cottage cheese and quark mixed with Greek yogurt, handfuls of blueberries, raspberries and sliced strawberries, four table spoons of whey protein, two table spoons of Koast compound and a table spoon of linseed oil — it looked thicker than porridge. Diego began spooning that tasty goo into Ryan's mouth immediately, at a fast pace.

– “Time for you to bulk up for good, like a mighty bear!”

– “Hmmmph... Okay.”

– “Here we grow and growl again!”

– “Hmmmph...”

– “Maybe grow a little bit bigger and thicker than you did, last time?”

– “Hmmmph... Okay.”

– “What do you think Guy?”

– “Oh! sure. Why not?”

The young man could see that Diego had a lot more food on display, on the kitchen table. It brought a broad smile to his face.

– “That's right.” Diego thought out loud. “We should see some significant weight gain, soon, at the Pleasure Dome...”

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Frenchfeeder's Library

Sunday, February 1, 2026

Welcome / Bienvenue

Around the Pleasure Dome — season 1, episode 11 "Poncing around" —